what a HOT summer day today has been… i actually started my day off by doing something i havent done in a long time…i went on a hike ,not just a little hike ,a 5 miles hike up the mountains in 100 degree wheather today …and i did it after 10 am… maybe not the smartest thing to do 1st time up this crazy mountain… i thought i was goin to die…but i ended up having a great time…then i dashed over to train w my trainer “BOSS” DARLENE… it was a comedy act at the gym cuz i was so dehydrated from the crazy billion mile hike… so we kinda took it in stride…i have been very SERIOUS about my training and taking care of my health… its taken me almost 2 yrs to get here… i am pleased with where i am at but very excited to get to where i want to go w my body…im btw 23-23.something % body fat … well, actually ill know exactly next week when i get measured and weighed again… people think i just lost the weight in a mointh or 3 , but actually its been a long and slow process cuz im proud to say ive done it correctly with the guide and assistant of my trainer , nutritionist and getting regular check ups by doctors to make sure all is alright….but DARLENE has been my force…
i have been doing things “OUTSIDE THE BOX” for me lately…and ill give u more details later… im off to be with great girlfriends tonight and get some recovery as well…
ive missed writing on here for all u to see and hear my experiences…. im so grateful u all exist and have supported me along the way…oh ya i cant wait to hear back from you….
PHIL VARONE posted photos of us from the “TODAY SHOW” on facebook today…he is actually a very funny guy…
i feel like there is so much to say but yet again im exhausted… i feel like im goin to collapse from exhaustion soon… God please help me, im tired so im goin to make this short…i did 2hrs at the gym… but due to being in my car working on the phone i wasnt able to workout wit DARLENE…she is goin to break me tomorrow..i have this feeling but i did work out lifted weights ,ran and did the cross trainer… ive burned over 3000 cals taken 16500 steps and have done over 4 hrs of activity…i even cooked which was a big deal for me… ya i steamed brown rice and opened 2 cans of tuna and cracked open hard boiled eggs… haaa…i mad tuna casarole… i love that , i use to eat that as a kid…mickey was a little extra needed ,which honestly i love…. i just love my mickey even while i pick up his poopoo and as he goes i cheer him on…he is an amazing love in my life…wow if i could be half the woman mickey thinks i am on a daily basis id rule my universe…i have to get up in a few hours im to do a phone interview in the wee hours of the morning then one at 10 am then gym then off to la for meetings and interviews im shooting another magazine but ill keep u posted later…Dr.Drew and i are presenting at the PRISM awards in a few weeks and the first SOBERHOUSE is nominated which is awesome…im also hosting a few events…. now i must say nite nite i have to go clean my toilets… i have a thing about cleans sinks,toilets and floors , actually im a freak over it… i love tilex and bleach too… TOM hates it…oh salt i miss u where r u ….mrs.dash(blah) i know were ur at i dont like u yet….
thank u guys for ur support… i do read my comments…and i do appreciate the support… it is mind blowing to me how there are such kind and gentle souls out there…u know just day to day for all of us isnt always pleasant, but when i read the comments and emails from u guys it fills me with joy…
on thursday evening i got the call that i was doing “THE TODAY SHOW” in New York on Saturday morning so i was leaving in the am (Friday)… i was excited and nervous at the same time… i was at the gym about to train when i got the call…my life these days is pretty much on hold although i am super busy w , well my life… i continue to schedule and plan my days as if , but i am allowing God to direct me…so on friday ,off i went to New York… i ended up meeting PHIL VARONE from SEX REHAB WITH DR.DREW at the airport.. i was sitting at my gate and i heard this guy behind me talking to some other guy(PHIL) and he was talking about the shows ,so i turned around and saw PHIL and said “hi im jenn” we were both caught off guard but i have to say what a lovely man PHIL VARONE is …. we got to New York and talked ,walked in the city and ate pizza… he was a delight…i ended sleeping 2 hrs cuz i was still catching up w emails and stuff… so we did a segment on “THE TODAY SHOW’ and it was fun but i was soooo tired… as soon as i was done i jumped in a town car and off i went back to the airport…i actually havent stopped in a long time…when i got home “MY TOMMY” was there to love me back to health…im so lucky to have a loving man support me and he put me to bed i shut my phone off for 24hrs and slept for 17 needed hours… when i woke up today TOM and i went to church w my mama and little brother(who is so much taller than me) then we went to my mamas house and ate an amazing lunch and had great conversation… TOM laughs at how my little brother and i are so brother and sister… its funny we so resort to childish behavior… i love my family to death…we came home and i was just trying to catch up w life….i turned my phone back on ,it was weird to not have my phone on but kinda awesome at the same time…so i was full from eating a lot and actually last few days kinda bad so i went to the gym and did cardio for an hour, came home walked mickey and then water the front yard …when i got in TOM said to me “babe its suppose to rain tonight” …. “huh” i replied… what was i thinking but i haven’t heard the news and really didn’t know… what a dork i am…. tomorrow i have phone interviews for magazines and internet sites then gym and so on…. i hope u all had a wonderful EASTER… again i adore u and thank u for being in my life …. i start my intense training , eating and calorie target all over again tomorrow … i did reach over 3000 calories today and over 17000 steps so that pretty good but i ate poorly… i do start with the “BOSS DARLENE” tomorrow …I HAVE NOT BEEN AS DEDICATED AS I WAS A FEW WEEKS BACK WITH THE EATING AND MY CHOICES OF BEING HEALTHY…ONE OF THE GIFTS OF LIFE I HAVE IS CHOICE…SO I CHOOSE TO DO AND BE BETTER…one day at a time….
yes its been a while since i wrote. you know its taken its toll on me…not being able to write is not good for me… ill be honest i feel like im about to explode becuz ive even stop in my personal journal… i can be lame and say ive been too busy … not an exception…
im blown away by all u lovely beings… supporting, loving and cheering me along has been a gift for me…at times i kept asking myself” why the hell am i doing this for”… I DO NOT RUN A SOBERLIVING HOME OR WORK IN RECOVERY IN MY DAILY LIFE…I WAS BROUGHT IN BECAUSE OF MY RECOVERY AND THAT IVE BEEN WHERE THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN…the “AWARENESS” SOBERHOUSE 1 &2: has been able to provide addicts and alcoholics still suffering ,recovering addicts and alcoholics, family/friends /loved ones who live(d) w people like me or have ever loved one of us and have gone thru the torement of our disease w us , is really the reason i did it again…i only say this because it is people like u who email me ,come up to me,post ,comment and all other kinds of modern ways of contact tell me.. then theres “THOSE PEOPLE” ,ahh im praying for u, all these people blogging on messageboards or on tweets myspace and facebook all this negative stuff makes me sad… but with every good thing in life comes some bad… over all ,about 97% of the response has been positive, the support and love im getting from people is truly amazing…like everyone else in the world i have over come obstacles… i am a child of a loving GOD and he has made me ,despite of my down falls ,a woman who has a story to tell… my experience ,strength and hope that miracles do exist…No… what u guys see on t.v is what really happened ,nothing was acted out… i may be an actress but i was dealing with seriously sick people trying to save there lives as well as me staying somewhat sane and sober thru that time in the house… this group was the toughest 8 people i could have ever imagined… it was me against them(more like the disease)…a bit too intense im really lucky i didnt get hurt or killed…but then theres things u will not see and ohhh the power of editing….like me being super stern, did happen, but first i was kind and gentle but most of the time it was mistaken for weakness and they (most of them) kept pushing my buttons..i want u to know how grateful i am to have been able to be of service…
so LIFE and STYLE MAGAZINE is now coming out in a few weeks 2nd week in APRIL… i will keep u posted.. they pushed it back due to some scandals lately…ive been on planes and cars for the last month…i really love traveling … my schedule starts sometimes at 4:30 am and once in a while ends 2/3a.m… not everyday id lose it…im trying my best to juggle my personal life /love/friends/family,work auditions/producing a show/publicity (etc .etc on this career section) tending to my house,gym and trying (not really) to have a tiny bit of personal time , 12 step program,speaking at 12 step meetings,working w 6 girls daily ,speaking at hospitals and institutions and working w my sponsor on me, sleeping every now and then oh and walking mickey…ill b honest with u lately im tripping out on having God fulfill my prayers although i can tell u itll work out for u, but i got to jump and know the net will catch me, it always has before…
im really tired and have to get up in 6 hours to start my journey all over again i promise to make an effort to journal at least 4-6 times a week… i love u with all my heart………oh yes still doing intense training but i got back on salt for a hot minute we started dating off and on again ,but were off again … ill explain tomorrow
OMG my days are going by so quickly…with SOBERHOUSE 2 coming out i am on super overload …doing alot of stuff for it..yes i am still training with the boss ,DARLENE… i just shot for LIFE & STYLE MAGAZINE last week and the story is coming out either this week or next… ill keep u posted…today DARLENE kicked my arms into a whole nother gear… they are super sore .i am very tired today…but i did work out w her for an hr and then did a total 55 minutes on treadmill…i dont know where i got that energy to do that much today… i ended up at the gym for way too long i kept answering work phone calls and found myself talking with people at the gym which totally threw me off… i dont mean to sound like an ass but i dont have the time to socialize there…im on a timed schedule.. i drank my yogurt,blueberry,banana,whey shake…lunch 2oz of turkey meatloaf..an orange and an apple for dinner 4chicken soft tacos w corn tortillas…very small ones … im still hungry….
im really gonna need u guys ,ur support during this experience of soberhouse…
im really tired and still have work to do…long work day tomorrow…
my name is jennifer and im a SALTAHOLIC… i was doing good on my salt intake and boom out of no where i had the urge and its just progressively gotten worse… until today…i have had a bit of a salt attack for the last 2 wks … i just craved it so badly it was making my mouth water… i told on myself and now i had to quit cold turkey …”NO SALT” DARLENE “the boss” commanded… and u know what ,i dont want to be swollen or live dependent on danm SALT… i asked what i could substitute salt for and she said MRS.DASH so there i went to the store to buy it … when i made my spinach salad with chicken i put MRS.DASH on , ummmm MRS.DASH should be called MRS.YAWN… so i started eating it and nothing…ugh… i got so mad cause all i wanted was salt with lemon on it… so instead it was mrs.dash and lemon w a teaspoon of olive it went….on that note today i started w a yogurt,protien powder, blueberries,banana shake.sugar free rock star, 2 pieces of chicken and brown rice w a bit a parmesan cheese, then for dinner spinach salad w 4oz of chicken and the dash thing….i did alot of cardio 1st 45 minutes at the gym then trained w MISS.DARLENE during the day but tonight i needed to reach over 3000 calories so i got on the treadmill for 30 minutes…im at 17000 steps so far and its 11pm and i hit over 3400 calories… yesterday i hit 2964 i was on under by 36 and im on this kick for a certain reason ,so miss.thang said that for what im trying to achieve its not acceptable for me to do that …IM AN ATHLETE damn it…. i watch the OLYMPIANS do their thing and that determination i see in there eyes ,its in their pores ,in the every breath , so its in mine, to achieve my goals…they inspire me as i watch them live their dreams…. such an inspiration.
im so blessed to have a great group of people who really love me and want the best for me…i need them and u…SOBERHOUSE is coming out 2wks from tomorrow and im a bit nervous… i just hope it reaches someone out there watching…
my mama is over for the next few days so itll be nice to have her around… we spend alot of time together regardless… but when life gets super busy its nice to have a loving face around…Toms and Mickeys helps so much too…but having my mama ,theres nothing that compares… shes my mama!!!!!! carrying little mickers warm poop in a bag while walking him keeps me laughing ,reminding me how humble and how my life is soooo filled with humility … and its on a daily basis…he loves to lay on my shoulder when we sleep and the best part is ,he farts on my shoulder and as im sound asleep my face is right in his ass…. oh the lovely moments….sometimes its the small things….
im pms’d to top it off and as a dear old friend of mine C.D use to say “i get the opzies” right before my period so im dropping everything and just stumbling a bit ,NOT FALLING… did enough of that recently still have slight bruises from that POST OFFICE fall…damn it that was terrible but effing HYSTERICAL… again being humbled….
its just busy for me right now…every single second counts these days…
i have been running my booty off… yes ive trained but last week not everyday but hells ya i ran everyday… i took sunday off and layed on my back and watched tv all damn day…oh and ate whatever i wanted …sunflower seeds,pasta ,2 burritos oh ya i started off good by having my sweet little shake… but then i just went for it…you know every now and then u say wtf and do what u want…today i ran 56 minutes in the morning then in the evening 20 minutes of cardio warm up and then trained w DARLENE… today i had a shake a, a protien bar,2 pieces of chicken w brown rice and a handful of sunflower seeds (shell less)…
thank you for ur love and support during my dads anniversary…i am short on time tonight and very tired… yet again a full day but i did find a few hours to be alone this morning….we all need alone time to regroup…
i hit an all time high yesterday in calories burned 3567…crazy but true and 16786 steps taken….and i sucked at eating yesterday very little just 2 cken tacos w cheese… protien bar…and a shake banana, whey, blueberries…today i woke up with a shake whey ,banana,yogurt,blueberries then 1/2 half a tuna sandwhich and then i met tom for thai food, 2 fresh spring rolls with 1 shrimp in it, brown rice ,brocholi,eggs and chicken dish…i only did cardio for an hr at crazy incline got up to level 10….trainin with DARLENE tomorrow morning… i trained via text with her yesterday … she had the last 3 days off due to personal reasons but that didnt stop little miss.THANG from running the show via text and calls durinng the day…she has been a GOD answered prayer for me …a woman who i trust to guide me in my new way of life and its not 12step program related…
last nite i was reunited with DR.DREW,MIKE STARR, STEVEN ADLER, JENNIE KETCHAM and WILL alongside with some thier friends and family…we got to spend some time together…TOM was there as well…it was actually a nice few hours spent…in 23 days SOBERHOUSE 2 is coming out so its about to get even busier for me than i already am…
i have an early audition so im going to make this a quickie tonight…why does being a woman entail so much maintance… i had to color my hair, again… ive gone a lot lighter than last year so its just alot more work with all the colors in it…between that , the nails, toes, workouts,blah blah its just alot of work…
today i did ONLY cardio…ive been on the treadmill the last 5/6 days for cardio after my training with Darlene,but today i ran straight with out not even a minute break…i did 1hr 25 minutes … i ended up running close to 7 miles…man i was a red as a tomatoe…i had a whey protien,banana,blueberry shake this a.m then cabbage salad and a handful of walnuts for lunch, for dinner i had tuna sandwhich with cut up olives and pepperchinis w mustard and 2 tablespoons a mayo….i made 2 cans of tuna but have alot left over for tomorrow and/or the next day or both…i also had 2 oz of chicken i think the running and hard training i also did yesterday is making me need more fuel…and a vitamin water w/lots of water today…so far today alone ive burned over 3000 calories and over 15ooo steps…yesterday BOSS kicked my ass w sqats of all sorts my feet holding medicne ball side to side sit ups then these 1/2 windmills with my legs side to side and then laying on the medicine ball on my back w/weights in my hands crunching then standing ,curling the weights then falling back on the ball…ya all in one time… we did other things too but man i am super sore today…
there is so much more that goes on in one day but im just to tired to go on…
today was my little brothers bday… tomorrow is my dads anniversary of his death… i miss him so much… i will go see him tomorrow… oh if GOD can just open heaven up for him to be able to see my brother and i for just 30 seconds…he would be so proud of DWIGHT…he has turned out to be an incredible man…
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