Oct
06.
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I had such a long day…. but oh was it amazing…it rained today in L.A for the first time this fall.  I got to wear Fall/Winter wear!!!! I had on dark blue skinny jeans, beige t-shirt, black cashmere button up sweater(the style of it is insane) high black  flat boots with this amazing tweed jacket that goes above my knees…with the biggest oversize purse a girl could find….ahhh my time of year…


So I have been on the eating clean diet…I eat a green apple a day…and…THIS IS ALWAY’S MEASURED PRE COOKED!!!!!!!!! 3 1/2 ounces of protein (alway’s measure) of white fish, scallops, shrimp or chicken 2x’s aday, 6 to 10 ounces of 1 type of greens with only lemon on it and condiments 2x’s a day, then  I can have 4 to 6 ounces of either blueberry/blackberries…. WITH ABSOLUTELY NO OILS WHAT SO EVER….it’s not easy cuz you have to take a cooler with you if you are running around. No sodas-only water, green tea and coffee with STEVIA!!!!!!


I have been doing situps and cardio for 25 to 40 minutes (my heart rate at 130 to 139…) for me that feels slow… but I’m burning fat …. no joke it is working. I’m almost done with this torture…I only got to workout 30 minutes cuz of my busy schedule…I’m a bit smaller than my STAR MAGAZINE SHOOT…size wise …


I worked this am then went to a 12 step meeting…then I got invited to go out to lunch with JIM HECHT, GORDI HOFFMAN AND JAMES BLACK….. writers, actors and great friends of mine. Honestly Jimmy is MY BOY (btw he is a brillant writer/producer he wrote ICE AGE and ROBOTS etc. etc. ). I will alway’s love him dearly. I live with him-he has been my saving grace….he truly is a FRIEND that just loves me as a friend…he is screwed cuz he is stuck with me as family forever. I love to gross him out… we play well off each other. Well he decided to tag along with me. I went to a  fancy gym while he went to one of his writing spots around the way.  Later I ended up at chiro appt (thk u my sweet sweet GLENN). I suffer from a bad back. Long story…I will fill you in another time. I suffer from migraines and this Dr. could not crack 1 bone or adjust me-he said that I was one of his hardest  patients (he has been practicing for 50 yrs…ya ughhh)  going back on Friday. Then I went to see 1 of my lifelines-DR.SOPHY (my therapist) ohhhhhhh how I love him xoxoxo he saw me late tonight . It feels good that he’s taking care of me … even though it gets to me, I know it’s the best thing I could be doing. I got lucky today with being able to be around great men. I had alot of work calls and meetings throughout the day…


I got asked to do a photo shoot SUNDAY for a MAGAZINE with SHAWNA ANKENBRANT ( my hot photographer who shot me for STAR MAGAZINE and RADAR ONLINE ) and I think that I may be doing tasteful NUDES !!!!! I’ll find out tomorrow …..but I’m shooting for sure SUNDAY.  A certain kind of story….xoxoxo





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Oct
05.
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STAR Magazine Photo Shoot. Credits:(Shot by photographer Shawna Ankenbrandt. Hair by Sean James for Sebastian Professional at Opus Beauty. Makeup by Cameron Cohen).

                       Link to   STAR Magazine Photo Shoot (courtesy of RadarOnline.com)


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Oct
05.
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I have to remember that “This is the Best Time of the Year.” I love this time-Fall/Winter. Ohhh it’s simply beautiful. I went to my storage unit the other day with my mom….ughhhh, I became so overwhelmed. I opened the unit up-and I literally saw my whole life…boxed up. Since I moved out of my X’s 4 months ago,I haven’t had to go there. We work so hard for “things” blahhhhh…but living simple has become so delightful for me. The season is changing,so that calls for a wardrobe change as well. YaY! Boots, sweaters, scarves, jackets and layers! I’m about to leave for work right now. I just wanted to check in and let you know that I have been reading your comments,emails,tweets &wall posts. I will blog later today answering questions like…
weight loss/exercise/some eating tips
fashion
sobriety
and some other things…
For those of you leaving me messages on here-(as well as on TWITTER &FACEBOOK)-I will try to address some of your questions. Please forgive me if I don’t answer all of them. Leave me questions on here or via Twitter/FB…and I’ll respond later on. Keep warm today….& love who you are right at this moment…because you do matter…and you are worthy of love….

Yesterday RADAR ONLINE posted my bikini/weight loss story with 19 pics (all in bikinis)…from the STAR MAGAZINE SHOOT!!!! It’s been scary to have shown my body pretty much bare…and on many levels it’s as if I’ve left myself with very little to hide behind (I’ve exposed my insides and out now) and U guys have embraced me with your love/PROTECTION and spirit. I’ll explain later if u don’t get what I’m trying to say.

If it had inspired 1 person out there-or allows someone to relate on any level…then my story served and serves it’s purpose. WE CAN OVERCOME ANYTHING IN LIFE. I PROMISE U THAT….


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Oct
03.
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I found myself wanting to pick up the phone and call my dad this week… I have this moment thats like “oh I can’t wait to tell my dad…. he will be so happy… ” and BOOM it’s a 5 second delay and I just get shocked as if “WHY IS HE NOT HERE DAMN IT”!!!!!!!! I write this with tears pouring down my face …then I realize it’s just one of those things that I have to accept. I’ve had one of the best weeks of my life…so much growth,miracles and break throughs happened…

I’m on day 10 of “EATING CLEAN’ diet… really it’s not a diet, it’s a way to detox ur body of all the crap one can consume…. …honestly it’s just really clean eating. For 2 days before I start,I eat as much and whatever I want. If u look in my past blogs from 2010 you’ll see my blogging of my weight loss even prior to that….it seriously did not happen over night and I tend to eat what I like;I’ve learned so much about my body and it being like a machine. I ask alot of questions and take vitamins like fish oils, womens multi vitamins and many others. Everyone is different so I take what I find works for me. I also work out differently (weekly or daily)….shocking my body is key…but eating correctly is the secret. The “eating clean” is everything organic, no oils , no butters, lemons…and Stevia is one of my best friends. I swam today and have been doing cardio this past wk…. and in my cardio I make sure my heart rate is between 130 to 140… it allows me to burn fat,not muscle…and since I’m eating very little calories-throughout the day I get a bit tired. I do alot of situps and light weights. I will be on this for 3 more days…it allows me to get my metabolism up. I’ve lost a good amount of weight,which is incredible…

I worked with my sponsor this week for over 6 hrs , worked w sponsies, attended meetings. I also hung out on Thurs. morning w JAMIE LEE CURTIS and SHAWNA ANKENBRANT ( she is the photographer I shot STAR MAG with, she is sooo talented , I feel safe w/ her). On Fri. nite I went to ASHLEY HAMILTON’s birthday party his mom ALANA and my bff JIM HECHT threw for him. It was soooooo much fun… I laughed so hard. Last Monday my bff BRANDI GLANVILLE came out on HWOBH… a friend of ours had a gathering for her… I was and am very proud of her…

I think that I’m getting sick…. ughhh…

I have a few jobs lined up (coming soon)…oh & my STAR MAGAZINE article came out this week!!!! I can’t believe that I’m in a bikini for the whole world to see… wow I would have never believed that I would be back in a bikini shape body. I hope you all can see it ….more photos are coming out soon from that shoot…

I was on the PRISM Awards on FX last Sunday nite…. thank u to all who watched it…

Lately since the STAR MAG came out alot of people are asking me if I’m dating alot,or if my phone is blowing up with guys asking me out…and truth be told is “NO!” Not a date at all. I do think I’m close to ready or am ready,I think. My sponsor has me “dating myself”….saying things that I would want a guy to say to me. It’s odd but I’m doing it. I’m just so fragile and vulnerable right now-and I just don’t want to deal with getting hurt. I believe that I’ve healed from my past relationship. I must say,I have alot of male friends in my life who are amazing …. they are very special to me and I am blessed to have them…

Facebook and Twitter have been something that I’ve grown to love … only because of all the love and support I receive on there…I just love everyone on FB and Twitter… and I especially love U!!!!!

 

 


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