Jennifer Gimenez on Good Day LA talks “Sober House”
As she did last season, house manager Jennifer Gimenez is set to give us her weekly take on each episode of Sober House with Dr. Drew. Below, Jenn talks about the fifth episode of the show: Jennie and Kendra’s tension, the departure and return of Heidi Fleiss and her own blow-up with Seth.
Dr. Drew came in right as Tom and Mike were in the middle of their big blow-up. He couldn’t have arrived at a better time.
I know. That was like a godsend at that moment. I remember I was texting him, “Please come.” I think he finished Loveline early, and literally as the mayhem was happening he walks up the hill. It was not planned at all. He walked straight up – he wasn’t even miked at that point.
That must have been a relief for you.
Yes! At that moment I was taking care of Kendra and keeping Heidi away from Tom. Seriously, it couldn’t have been more perfect timing.
Kendra reacted really strongly to this tumult.
There were definitely triggers for her, and as you saw in Sex Rehab, she doesn’t take that kind of fighting well. I think she reverted back to her childhood issues and trauma. At that moment, it was kind of like triage: what do you do, who do you save? At that moment it was Kendra, because she wasn’t involved in anything so I felt like I needed to protect her. I felt protective of the situation, because she was an innocent bystander brought into the mayhem. I think a lot of people were at that point.
Because she tested positive for drugs, Heidi had to leave the sober house. Were you disappointed?
I mean, that’s standard. I was brokenhearted because it’s such a sad thing when we do use. For whatever reasons, we are in so much pain and we just can’t handle life, so I was really sad for her. I was actually relieved that she was willing to come back and try it over again, but I knew that her being there would create more mayhem. We’re powerless over this disease, but we didn’t have the tools to take care of her as well as the rest of the house. I was proud of her for having the courage to try this again, though.
What was going on at this point with the jobs these people were assigned? Ever since their first days, we haven’t seen them working.
They didn’t continue the jobs. It was unfortunate, too. Sometimes in sober houses they do continue their jobs because they have to. But because there was so much going on, there were a lot of things everyone was trying to cram in to get these people going in life and also to create the show. Not to take away from the work that they did, but it didn’t continue.
Mike apologized to you, called you “sweetheart,” vowed to discontinue the, “F*** you”s. Were you buying it?
No, and it’s unfortunate for me to say this but it was a constant thing with Mike. You didn’t see that the night before, he really, really attacked me. That threw everyone off, especially Tom. It’s really hard for everyone, especially me, to hear that. When Mike apologized, I was like, “OK, I’m going to give it one shot,” but it was really wearing on me emotionally and mentally. I think the whole situation was wearing on me.
Yeah, at the end of the episode we saw you break down and heard a voiceover from Dr. Drew wondering how much longer you could manage this by yourself.
The group is so rough and so tough and so exhausting and I didn’t have any support. I didn’t have my circle of support. There were no free moments for me to make the calls to get comfort in my life and with my emotions. I didn’t have Dr. Sophy, I didn’t have anything except my texts or calls to Dr. Drew. It was me against eight. Sometimes I just wanted a hug. I just wish there were more tools that I had and that we had for a support team for me. My survival mechanisms were exhausted. I just kept trying and it felt like I was walking in and hitting my head into the same wall over and over in the same spot again. With Heidi going out and coming back, it was like starting all over again. Her disease was so alive — more than anyone else’s in the house at that moment. She wasn’t the same Heidi.
Did you ever beat yourself up over any of this? Did you ever feel like a failure?
I don’t know if I felt like I was failing — I just knew that I started shutting down. I don’t know if it’s about failing more so than it is waving a flag. More than anything I just wished I had my support team. If I was able to process my emotions and my feelings with somebody, then I would have more strength to keep going.
This episode finds tension brewing between Jennie and Kendra. Was that always there?
When they walked in the beginning of the season, they were tight. There was a good force going on there. And then you just saw it slowly disintegrating. That kind of happens when two people come from the same place. They came from the same show, Sex Rehab, they come from the same stuff in some way or another. I started seeing little specks of it. It really came to a head in the Jacuzzi, which happened the night after all the mayhem. We couldn’t have just one night of relaxation in warm water, you know? I remember just sitting in there thinking my muscles are trying to relax, and then they started and I was thinking, “How am I going to find the boundary here?” That’s when I was like, “Enough guys.” There was so much more going on than substance addition, and people were drawing from that. You had Mike’s mental issues, and you had the sex addition stuff. There were a lot of things going on. I felt like we were all walking on egg shells. I was at least. But we had to walk through the eggshells and stand ground.
The Jennie/Kendra tension also pervades rock-climbing.
Yes. That was a activity to get everyone’s mind off of things. Here I was telling everyone, “Come on, let’s do it!” It was an awakening for me, just going through it, but in the back of my head, there was the Kendra/Jennie thing going on. I knew it was coming. I just didn’t know when it was going to happen and at least no one got hurt. There was no verbal abuse happening. They were shouting, but they did it, in a weird way, with respect, and that’s kind of the process. I let it happen, because what was I going to do? Try to stop something these people were feeling? Block them from their feelings? Kendra and Jennie both wanted to stay away from each other, there were boundaries set and that was great.
You had it out with Seth. Was it disappointing that it came to that?
One of the things that we’re asking is: do your chores. The trash was overflowing. Everyday I asked, “Please do your chores before you leave.” I was picking up after everyone, and then when stuff wasn’t done or when it was dirty, everyone would come to me instead of confronting each other like, “That’s not fair!” I was angry with Seth after asking him over and over again. I was begging him. I sounded like a broken record. He then threw a fit at me. It was sad, but I just went with it. In the end, it was like, at least Seth showed emotion. He has a lot of anger, and I realized that he wasn’t angry about me. The funny thing is that afterward, I ignored Seth and that’s the worst thing you can do to him. The next morning, he had coffee on my table. I told him that I had to be tough with him. The people who loved and helped me with my sobriety were really tough on me. They wanted me to get it. They were afraid of going to my funeral.
Back for the second season of VH1’s “Sober House With. Dr. Drew” is its matriarch, Jennifer Gimenez. Last year’s debut season, featuring Gimenez and a host of celebrities trying to clean up their act, was one of reality TV’s most dynamic in memory.
Somehow this season (VH1, Thursdays/tonight, 10 p.m.) makes its predecessor seem like the PG version.
This year’s cast combines recent graduates of the much more structured drug and alcohol program, “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew,” along with those from the inaugural season of “Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew.” Both were filmed at the Pasadena Recovery Center.
Some of the cast members are: Tom Sizemore, Heidi Fleiss, Dennis Rodman, Jennifer “Penny Flame” Ketcham, and Kari Ann Peniche. The results have been dynamic television full of punched-out cameramen, relapse, and no shortage of bleeped f-bombs.
Since LAist last visited Gimenez a year ago, the former covermodel has had quite the year. She’s continued to grow yet lost a hundred pounds, has a growing career, and is over four years sober from drugs and alcohol herself. LAist had a chance to chat with Jennifer about just that.
LAist: What was the difference between the first and second season of Sober House?
Jennifer Gimenez: This season they were all hardcore, street-smart addicts except Dennis Rodman. Last year you had more of a mixture. This year, they were a rough group. Who would have ever thought that I’d be saying I’d take eight Steven Adler’s over the season two group?
I am so grateful I did Sober House the second season. I’m also lucky I didn’t get hurt from this experience. It was a really rough group.
Did the first season prepare you for this one?
Season One taught me a lot. Coming into Season Two, I felt stronger about myself. I also learned to have more love and tolerance, and that I’m not here to be friends with these people. The season before, I was trying so hard to be make them like me.
People in my life, and especially people in the recovery community that I come from, don’t tip-toe around my sobriety. People call me out on my stuff: shut up, sit your ass down, and listen. I felt like, coming into this season, I needed to be the same way people were with me in my program. This disease is deadly, so I’m here to help other people.
What has the public reaction been to the show?
I’ve never been more blown away by the response of people. Yeah, there’s that three percent that’s always going to say some negative stuff, but I get thousands of positive emails and people come up to me and say “thank you for doing what you’re doing.”
Are there any misconceptions as to your role in recovery?
I definitely want to clear up that I do not work in recovery except for the show. You don’t have to work in recovery to run a sober house. Dr. Drew and the producers brought me in because of my recovery.
A lot of people come to me with their problems and they start opening up. I know sometimes we just need someone to listen, but I can’t give “doctor advice.” I’m not a doctor. I’m just a drunk helping another drunk.
Since Sober House Season One, you’ve lost 100 pounds….
After Season One, after being called a ‘fat’-every word possible, I started dropping weight. I went from going on the treadmill, to going to the nutritionist, to weight training. Last May, I was doing another job somewhere else and I started training with Jai Rodriguez from “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy.”
He was like “hey girl, you need to lift weights.” I had this whole philosophy that my body was going to get big from gaining muscle. Instead, I feel great.
Did you have time to exercise on Sober House Two?
Yes. Dennis Rodman and I were training every day. By that point I had lost about 80 pounds. Since the show finished, I’ve lost that last 20. I’m now officially down 100 pounds. I went from a size 16 back down to a six.
What are your eating habits like these days?
For me, I had to divorce salt and not drink so many sodas. I don’t eat french fries. I eat wheat bread, lots of multi grains, and chicken, and chicken and chicken until it’s coming out of my ears.
What was it like when Kari Ann called you “fat” on Season Two?
It was so “last season.” When I came into the show, obviously I looked much more different than the first season and I was well-seasoned by Steven Adler and that whole group. It didn’t bother me, though, sure, I don’t want to be called on that on a normal basis in my life.
What was it like to live in the show’s Hollywood Hills mansion?
The house was unbelievable. I got to wake up to Downtown LA, and I’d look over to the left, and there was Griffith Park and the ocean straight ahead. It was really beautiful. However, there was many, many stairs. I’d be running up and down them all day long. I was pretty exhausted just from going up the stairs.
Who would win in an arm-wrestling match: Dr. Drew or Barack Obama?
Dr Drew by far. Did you see those arms? Every now and then he’ll wear a t-shirt and you’ll be like “what?”
What’s coming up for you?
Sober House One was nominated for a PRISM Award. Dr. Drew and I will be there presenting at the end of the month. Work-wise, there’s a lot of things in the mix right now that I’m not allowed to talk about because nothing’s finalized. I’m getting back into acting and hosting. I hope a vacation in the near future.
Follow Caleb Bacon on Twitter @thecalebbacon.
By Caleb Bacon in Arts & Events on April 8, 2010 10:30 AM 0 Comments 7 Likes Likes
Posted on 04/06/2010 by Jackie in Sober House
Jennifer Gimenez and Dr. Drew
By Jackie Helm
Jennifer Gimenez spoke exclusively with RealityWanted.com about being House Manager on Vh1’s Sober House 2. Jenn’s experience as an actress, model and former addict allow her to directly relate to the Sober House residents. Jenn is a sweet but strong leader in the recovery process for her peers and despite the headache and the pain, she’d do it all over again.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: You have quite the trying task as House Manager at the Sober House. Can you start by clarifying your role?
A. Jenn: In Sober Living, people who are recovering addicts and alcoholics will come in and run a house. The people who run those houses get free rent to stay at the sober living house. My experience was that Dr. Drew and the producers brought me in because of my recovery; not because I work in recovery. There is a difference. I relate to them on a different level. I am not part of the treatment facility team. On Celebrity Rehab, Dr. Drew has a team. On Sober House, I run the house. I enforce the rules and I give them the tools to live during their transition into the real world. Am I the boss? Yes. I have the ability to kick people out if I needed to. However, for the show, I talk with Dr. Drew about to do.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: Your position definitely has its share of drama and stress. Let’s take, Dennis Rodman for example. Isn’t it irritating to experience constant rebellion and attitude from adults?
A. Jenn: I think it was like that with every one of the resident’s in the house. With Dennis Rodman, I knew coming in that he is a game player. He is a 5 time NBA championship winning game player. He’s been trained to play his whole life. He came in with a game attitude. He wants to see how far he can push the buttons. I am also dealing with someone who is an alcoholic. Dennis Rodman was game strategy plus the alcoholic in him. I pretty much had to gain my respect with him and everyone in the house. We are talking about hard core drug addicts and alcoholics.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: I understand that but after three weeks of rehab and now almost two weeks of the Sober House, is his behavior game play or the real affects of alcoholism?
A. Jenn: I think it’s both, actually. After the night that Dennis went out and came home late, he didn’t want to write and didn’t want to give me his phone. Finally, he gave me his phone and he wrote. He gave me respect and I didn’t have problems with Dennis after that. The respect part came from his best ability at that time. But then the alcoholism would kick in and it’s a disease. The disease is really strong in that house with everyone. I think the disease had a bigger part of them than they had over the disease.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: The friction between Tom Sizemore and Heidi Fleiss is unfortunate and rather unnecessary. Who do you say is to blame?
A. Jenn: I wasn’t there when everything took place when they were dating. But I definitely think there is a lot of unnecessary arguments and explosions with the two of them. Obviously they are both hurt. I don’t know who was right or wrong and I can’t have judgment on that. I was just there to enforce that they couldn’t fight and that they shouldn’t fight and that they should keep themselves separated. I felt like I was a referee a lot of times.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: Even Dr. Drew tends to sugar coat what he says to Heidi, why doesn’t anyone seem to want to tell it to her straight? When Heidi brought Tom sushi, she was obviously trying to grind his gears.
A. Jenn: I was told to keep the house calm because there was a lot going on at that exact same time. When she came down, I was caught off guard. And she did go and antagonize him a little bit and he exploded. I would say “knock it off” to both of them. What they did in group was between them, the group and Dr. Drew. There is a lot that viewers don’t see due to only having 47 minutes of show time.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: When Heidi tested positive for amphetamines, opiates and benzos, can you tell us in street terms what she was high on?
A. Jenn: She was high on meth. I don’t know exactly what pills she had taken. Opiates are usually Oxycontin, Vicodin, heroin…but I am not saying that she was on heroin because I don’t think she was. Benzo’s are pills like Ambiens and Adavan.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: When Tom was freaking out over his phone, he mentioned wanting his phone to call his girlfriend. Was he referring to Monroe who entered rehab at the Pasadena Recovery Center with him? We all want to know if she succeeded in sobriety as well.
A. Jenn: Yes, that was Monroe. I was in awe. I wondered if I should duck because he was going to try to throw a vase at me. Ten minutes before that he had just finished reading about how his recovery came first. Tom has a very explosive side to him. The Tom that I know (from being in treatment with him years ago) is really sweet guy inside. But as Bob Forrest said, the disease has a big power over Tom. It’s not just the drugs, it the disease. That is what a lot of us suffer from. Once the drugs and alcohol are taken away from us, we are stuck with “us”. There are a lot of issues in us. There is a lot of work that Tom needs to do to get better. I know that Monroe visited Tom at the Sober House, but I don’t know if she is still sober.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: Everyone says that Mike Starr is a sweet guy too. He also seems to struggle from a similar split personality.
A. Jenn: Mike Starr was my biggest problem at the Sober House. Mike was nice of seven minutes out of the day. The rest of the day it was non-stop, “I hate you Jenn, I am going to kill you Jenn”. Then two seconds later he would say, “I am sorry Jenn”. I think there is more going on there that I wasn’t warned or told about. I think Mike had a lot of psychological stuff going on. Mike was a very tiring person to have around. I would have to beg and plead and then get angry with Mike and finally that would work. I was constantly trying to smooth things over with Mike.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: That must have been hard to deal with.
A. Jenn: It was a very grueling and exhausting process. I felt like I didn’t have the time for Mike. I think it would help if Mike had somebody one on one with him all the time. There were times that he was very sweet. But I am also the authority figure and people don’t like that, especially alcoholics and addicts. They don’t like being told what to do and say. But because they are in a sober living house, I am trying to give them tools to transition into the real world. If they go back in the world they way they are now, they are pretty much doomed. I had to change my way of being when I was in recovery. They say you need to change one thing and that is everything.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: Do you think there is hope for Mike?
A. Jenn: I do, I believe in miracles. I think there is hope for everyone. Mike has a lot of work a head of him. Some of us have to do that work. I will go to any lengths to stay sober. I wasn’t so responsive to that in the beginning. But today my life is completely different because I followed directions.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: With so much focus on residents like Mike, Tom and Heidi – how are the less dramatic resident’s doing in their recovery such as Seth, Jenni and Kendra?
A. Jenn: I’ve talked with Seth, Jenni and Kendra and they are doing great. Jenni has been sober for about a year. She literally is the reward for what I do. A lot of times on the show, I ask myself, “Why am I doing this”? But then you see someone like Jenni, who is really active in her recovery and has done a 180 and she’s a miracle. Kendra is doing a really great job, she’s a sweet girl. I am really happy to see that she is doing well. Seth is great. I’ve known Seth for 10 years and I know his wife, kids and family. We have a lot of history and it was hard to have him come back to the show. He knew how to get to me. He will do his little “Seth-ism’s”. This time I was like, “I am not going to play your games because I don’t want to go to your funeral”. This time I had to be a lot stronger.
You will see on the next show that Seth looses it on me. I was asking him to take the trash out. The only thing they have to do in the Sober House is to not break curfew, clean your room and do the chores we ask. We don’t ask them to paint the house and clean the windows. But we get lazy when we get out there and most people don’t want to leave the house when they are using or drinking. I felt like I was playing mom most of the time. But Seth is doing in great. I am really proud to say that those three are doing really good.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: After Kari Ann Peniche’s final departure, do you know if she sought help elsewhere?
A. Jenn: I do not know and I do hope that she gets help somewhere.
Q. Jackie, RealityWanted: Well I give you a lot of props for what you do for the people in Sober House. Do you ever feel like you are getting more than you bargained for? Would you even consider taking on a Sober House 3?
A. Jenn: After the first Sober House, I thought, “Hell no, I’m done, it’s over forever”. When I was done and was able to decompress from the process, I thought, “I could do that again”. So when Sober House 2 came along, I was like “Sure”! It’s worth it because of the rewards that come from it. When people say that their life was saved because of this process, or when a mother compare themselves to what I was going through, when people say that the show gave them hope…yes I would do it again. It sounds crazy, but yes I would do it again. It’s funny because, I do not work in recovery and I don’t have the doctors’ certificate, but that is not what this is about. When it comes to alcoholics and drug addicts, I am just one alcoholic talking another. That is what the Sober House is. That is what I’ve been taught in this whole thing. You give what you’ve got freely back to someone else. That is why I do this!
Catch Sober House on Vh1 Thursdays at 9pm CST
(Photos courtesy of VH1.com)
Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast) (Log in to vote!)
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PHIL VARONE posted photos of us from the “TODAY SHOW” on facebook today…he is actually a very funny guy…
i feel like there is so much to say but yet again im exhausted… i feel like im goin to collapse from exhaustion soon… God please help me, im tired so im goin to make this short…i did 2hrs at the gym… but due to being in my car working on the phone i wasnt able to workout wit DARLENE…she is goin to break me tomorrow..i have this feeling but i did work out lifted weights ,ran and did the cross trainer… ive burned over 3000 cals taken 16500 steps and have done over 4 hrs of activity…i even cooked which was a big deal for me… ya i steamed brown rice and opened 2 cans of tuna and cracked open hard boiled eggs… haaa…i mad tuna casarole… i love that , i use to eat that as a kid…mickey was a little extra needed ,which honestly i love…. i just love my mickey even while i pick up his poopoo and as he goes i cheer him on…he is an amazing love in my life…wow if i could be half the woman mickey thinks i am on a daily basis id rule my universe…i have to get up in a few hours im to do a phone interview in the wee hours of the morning then one at 10 am then gym then off to la for meetings and interviews im shooting another magazine but ill keep u posted later…Dr.Drew and i are presenting at the PRISM awards in a few weeks and the first SOBERHOUSE is nominated which is awesome…im also hosting a few events…. now i must say nite nite i have to go clean my toilets… i have a thing about cleans sinks,toilets and floors , actually im a freak over it… i love tilex and bleach too… TOM hates it…oh salt i miss u where r u ….mrs.dash(blah) i know were ur at i dont like u yet….
thank u guys for ur support… i do read my comments…and i do appreciate the support… it is mind blowing to me how there are such kind and gentle souls out there…u know just day to day for all of us isnt always pleasant, but when i read the comments and emails from u guys it fills me with joy…
on thursday evening i got the call that i was doing “THE TODAY SHOW” in New York on Saturday morning so i was leaving in the am (Friday)… i was excited and nervous at the same time… i was at the gym about to train when i got the call…my life these days is pretty much on hold although i am super busy w , well my life… i continue to schedule and plan my days as if , but i am allowing God to direct me…so on friday ,off i went to New York… i ended up meeting PHIL VARONE from SEX REHAB WITH DR.DREW at the airport.. i was sitting at my gate and i heard this guy behind me talking to some other guy(PHIL) and he was talking about the shows ,so i turned around and saw PHIL and said “hi im jenn” we were both caught off guard but i have to say what a lovely man PHIL VARONE is …. we got to New York and talked ,walked in the city and ate pizza… he was a delight…i ended sleeping 2 hrs cuz i was still catching up w emails and stuff… so we did a segment on “THE TODAY SHOW’ and it was fun but i was soooo tired… as soon as i was done i jumped in a town car and off i went back to the airport…i actually havent stopped in a long time…when i got home “MY TOMMY” was there to love me back to health…im so lucky to have a loving man support me and he put me to bed i shut my phone off for 24hrs and slept for 17 needed hours… when i woke up today TOM and i went to church w my mama and little brother(who is so much taller than me) then we went to my mamas house and ate an amazing lunch and had great conversation… TOM laughs at how my little brother and i are so brother and sister… its funny we so resort to childish behavior… i love my family to death…we came home and i was just trying to catch up w life….i turned my phone back on ,it was weird to not have my phone on but kinda awesome at the same time…so i was full from eating a lot and actually last few days kinda bad so i went to the gym and did cardio for an hour, came home walked mickey and then water the front yard …when i got in TOM said to me “babe its suppose to rain tonight” …. “huh” i replied… what was i thinking but i haven’t heard the news and really didn’t know… what a dork i am…. tomorrow i have phone interviews for magazines and internet sites then gym and so on…. i hope u all had a wonderful EASTER… again i adore u and thank u for being in my life …. i start my intense training , eating and calorie target all over again tomorrow … i did reach over 3000 calories today and over 17000 steps so that pretty good but i ate poorly… i do start with the “BOSS DARLENE” tomorrow …I HAVE NOT BEEN AS DEDICATED AS I WAS A FEW WEEKS BACK WITH THE EATING AND MY CHOICES OF BEING HEALTHY…ONE OF THE GIFTS OF LIFE I HAVE IS CHOICE…SO I CHOOSE TO DO AND BE BETTER…one day at a time….
I will be hosting Loveline with Dr.Drew tonight check your local listings or go to www.lovelineshow.com for live streaming…….
XOXOXOX Jenn
yes its been a while since i wrote. you know its taken its toll on me…not being able to write is not good for me… ill be honest i feel like im about to explode becuz ive even stop in my personal journal… i can be lame and say ive been too busy … not an exception…
im blown away by all u lovely beings… supporting, loving and cheering me along has been a gift for me…at times i kept asking myself” why the hell am i doing this for”… I DO NOT RUN A SOBERLIVING HOME OR WORK IN RECOVERY IN MY DAILY LIFE…I WAS BROUGHT IN BECAUSE OF MY RECOVERY AND THAT IVE BEEN WHERE THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN…the “AWARENESS” SOBERHOUSE 1 &2: has been able to provide addicts and alcoholics still suffering ,recovering addicts and alcoholics, family/friends /loved ones who live(d) w people like me or have ever loved one of us and have gone thru the torement of our disease w us , is really the reason i did it again…i only say this because it is people like u who email me ,come up to me,post ,comment and all other kinds of modern ways of contact tell me.. then theres “THOSE PEOPLE” ,ahh im praying for u, all these people blogging on messageboards or on tweets myspace and facebook all this negative stuff makes me sad… but with every good thing in life comes some bad… over all ,about 97% of the response has been positive, the support and love im getting from people is truly amazing…like everyone else in the world i have over come obstacles… i am a child of a loving GOD and he has made me ,despite of my down falls ,a woman who has a story to tell… my experience ,strength and hope that miracles do exist…No… what u guys see on t.v is what really happened ,nothing was acted out… i may be an actress but i was dealing with seriously sick people trying to save there lives as well as me staying somewhat sane and sober thru that time in the house… this group was the toughest 8 people i could have ever imagined… it was me against them(more like the disease)…a bit too intense im really lucky i didnt get hurt or killed…but then theres things u will not see and ohhh the power of editing….like me being super stern, did happen, but first i was kind and gentle but most of the time it was mistaken for weakness and they (most of them) kept pushing my buttons..i want u to know how grateful i am to have been able to be of service…
so LIFE and STYLE MAGAZINE is now coming out in a few weeks 2nd week in APRIL… i will keep u posted.. they pushed it back due to some scandals lately…ive been on planes and cars for the last month…i really love traveling … my schedule starts sometimes at 4:30 am and once in a while ends 2/3a.m… not everyday id lose it…im trying my best to juggle my personal life /love/friends/family,work auditions/producing a show/publicity (etc .etc on this career section) tending to my house,gym and trying (not really) to have a tiny bit of personal time , 12 step program,speaking at 12 step meetings,working w 6 girls daily ,speaking at hospitals and institutions and working w my sponsor on me, sleeping every now and then oh and walking mickey…ill b honest with u lately im tripping out on having God fulfill my prayers although i can tell u itll work out for u, but i got to jump and know the net will catch me, it always has before…
im really tired and have to get up in 6 hours to start my journey all over again i promise to make an effort to journal at least 4-6 times a week… i love u with all my heart………oh yes still doing intense training but i got back on salt for a hot minute we started dating off and on again ,but were off again … ill explain tomorrow
my name is jennifer and im a SALTAHOLIC… i was doing good on my salt intake and boom out of no where i had the urge and its just progressively gotten worse… until today…i have had a bit of a salt attack for the last 2 wks … i just craved it so badly it was making my mouth water… i told on myself and now i had to quit cold turkey …”NO SALT” DARLENE “the boss” commanded… and u know what ,i dont want to be swollen or live dependent on danm SALT… i asked what i could substitute salt for and she said MRS.DASH so there i went to the store to buy it … when i made my spinach salad with chicken i put MRS.DASH on , ummmm MRS.DASH should be called MRS.YAWN… so i started eating it and nothing…ugh… i got so mad cause all i wanted was salt with lemon on it… so instead it was mrs.dash and lemon w a teaspoon of olive it went….on that note today i started w a yogurt,protien powder, blueberries,banana shake.sugar free rock star, 2 pieces of chicken and brown rice w a bit a parmesan cheese, then for dinner spinach salad w 4oz of chicken and the dash thing….i did alot of cardio 1st 45 minutes at the gym then trained w MISS.DARLENE during the day but tonight i needed to reach over 3000 calories so i got on the treadmill for 30 minutes…im at 17000 steps so far and its 11pm and i hit over 3400 calories… yesterday i hit 2964 i was on under by 36 and im on this kick for a certain reason ,so miss.thang said that for what im trying to achieve its not acceptable for me to do that …IM AN ATHLETE damn it…. i watch the OLYMPIANS do their thing and that determination i see in there eyes ,its in their pores ,in the every breath , so its in mine, to achieve my goals…they inspire me as i watch them live their dreams…. such an inspiration.
im so blessed to have a great group of people who really love me and want the best for me…i need them and u…SOBERHOUSE is coming out 2wks from tomorrow and im a bit nervous… i just hope it reaches someone out there watching…
my mama is over for the next few days so itll be nice to have her around… we spend alot of time together regardless… but when life gets super busy its nice to have a loving face around…Toms and Mickeys helps so much too…but having my mama ,theres nothing that compares… shes my mama!!!!!! carrying little mickers warm poop in a bag while walking him keeps me laughing ,reminding me how humble and how my life is soooo filled with humility … and its on a daily basis…he loves to lay on my shoulder when we sleep and the best part is ,he farts on my shoulder and as im sound asleep my face is right in his ass…. oh the lovely moments….sometimes its the small things….
im pms’d to top it off and as a dear old friend of mine C.D use to say “i get the opzies” right before my period so im dropping everything and just stumbling a bit ,NOT FALLING… did enough of that recently still have slight bruises from that POST OFFICE fall…damn it that was terrible but effing HYSTERICAL… again being humbled….
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