I had such a long day…. but oh was it amazing…it rained today in L.A for the first time this fall.  I got to wear Fall/Winter wear!!!! I had on dark blue skinny jeans, beige t-shirt, black cashmere button up sweater(the style of it is insane) high black  flat boots with this amazing tweed jacket that goes above my knees…with the biggest oversize purse a girl could find….ahhh my time of year…

So I have been on the eating clean diet…I eat a green apple a day…and…THIS IS ALWAY’S MEASURED PRE COOKED!!!!!!!!! 3 1/2 ounces of protein (alway’s measure) of white fish, scallops, shrimp or chicken 2x’s aday, 6 to 10 ounces of 1 type of greens with only lemon on it and condiments 2x’s a day, then  I can have 4 to 6 ounces of either blueberry/blackberries…. WITH ABSOLUTELY NO OILS WHAT SO EVER….it’s not easy cuz you have to take a cooler with you if you are running around. No sodas-only water, green tea and coffee with STEVIA!!!!!!

I have been doing situps and cardio for 25 to 40 minutes (my heart rate at 130 to 139…) for me that feels slow… but I’m burning fat …. no joke it is working. I’m almost done with this torture…I only got to workout 30 minutes cuz of my busy schedule…I’m a bit smaller than my STAR MAGAZINE SHOOT…size wise …

I worked this am then went to a 12 step meeting…then I got invited to go out to lunch with JIM HECHT, GORDI HOFFMAN AND JAMES BLACK….. writers, actors and great friends of mine. Honestly Jimmy is MY BOY (btw he is a brillant writer/producer he wrote ICE AGE and ROBOTS etc. etc. ). I will alway’s love him dearly. I live with him-he has been my saving grace….he truly is a FRIEND that just loves me as a friend…he is screwed cuz he is stuck with me as family forever. I love to gross him out… we play well off each other. Well he decided to tag along with me. I went to a  fancy gym while he went to one of his writing spots around the way.  Later I ended up at chiro appt (thk u my sweet sweet GLENN). I suffer from a bad back. Long story…I will fill you in another time. I suffer from migraines and this Dr. could not crack 1 bone or adjust me-he said that I was one of his hardest  patients (he has been practicing for 50 yrs…ya ughhh)  going back on Friday. Then I went to see 1 of my lifelines-DR.SOPHY (my therapist) ohhhhhhh how I love him xoxoxo he saw me late tonight . It feels good that he’s taking care of me … even though it gets to me, I know it’s the best thing I could be doing. I got lucky today with being able to be around great men. I had alot of work calls and meetings throughout the day…

I got asked to do a photo shoot SUNDAY for a MAGAZINE with SHAWNA ANKENBRANT ( my hot photographer who shot me for STAR MAGAZINE and RADAR ONLINE ) and I think that I may be doing tasteful NUDES !!!!! I’ll find out tomorrow …..but I’m shooting for sure SUNDAY.  A certain kind of story….xoxoxo

It has been a FULL last few weeks… I really have grown up alot lately… I have been on the go for the past 6 months and I am proud to say I’ve learned alot. This whole new “single me” has been more joyful than scary-only because of the LOVE and SUPPORT from so many wonderful friends and family… I honestly never knew that I had this… also that “ask and u shall receive” really is true… I ask for HELP and I ask alot of questions to uncover, discover and discard things… what a trip this thing called life is…

CELEBRITY REHAB Season 5 has wrapped and now they are doing follow ups on the patients from the show … with only 1 more show this upcoming Sunday… then it’s a wrap…CELEBRITY REHAB & SOBERHOUSE has been such a blessing for me… I’m honored to have been a part of the shows and I’m more honored to know what had been wrong w me has turned out to be the biggest blessing-to help myself and countless others. No longer do we stand alone w the DISEASE of any addiction and anyone can overcome it if the are willing to do the work. It’s not alway’s easy but it’s so worth it….I stand by the motto “NO MATTER WHAT”….yes I still do the work on a daily basis … I turn it over daily… my story has just begun… there are many things in the works and many things that I have shot even T.V wise so I will keep u posted…and sooooo much more… I can’t wait to tell you about it…

I’m  doing “FASHION NIGHT OUT” this THURSDAY in  LOS ANGELES to help kick off FASHION WEEK in NEW YORK… they are doing it all over the country this week… and yours truly got asked to “OPEN” the fashion show (yes I’m MODELING in it) and then I am 1 of the CELEBRITIES speaking on different topics.. 1 of mine is  “Being Comfortable in Ur Own Skin”… Tori Spelling , Gregory Zarian and many others are doing it w me…. kinda super excited …  1 of my favorite things in the whole world has been doing RUNWAY… which I did all over the world … there is nothing better than walking a runway and becoming that look for the season, designer and era… I love it soooooo much….

Last week I bought a new car… OMG it was so stressful going into dealerships and looking for what I wanted within my budget and then dealing with the salesmen, which I have to say, some of them treated me like I was some dumb girl, quickly did they change their tone and way after being w me. I learned sooooooooo much from last week… it was like I grew up in an instant. I learned alot of lessons, BIG and small… I had and have-as someone special has told me for past 5 yrs – put my “BIG GIRL PANTIES ON” but some reliable men both friends and family stepped in to help… THANK GOD!!!! Sometimes I felt they (salesmen) were speaking Chinese to me , which I don’t understand… I did find myself so stressed out and to tell u the truth I just wished someone would have saved me… but I realized I CAN DO THINGS ON MY OWN and there is no easier or softer way of doing it but to just do it….BIG GIRL PANTIES….

I worked all day today and will for the  rest of the week also… I had someone come assist me for the day… which helped me alot. I’m taking too much on and it’s exhausting me … I wear many many hats in my life….

I have CELEBRITY REHAB’s last episode to do interviews on in early am, then my PRC group to do , a fitting for the fashion show , an audition, gym then in late  evening-then I’m getting a brazilian blowout for 3 hrs. or more …. long ass day tomorrow…

I’ve been eating rather healthy throughout all of the craziness… working out at the gym and swimming at least 5x’s a week. I’m doing new things at the gym-I’m shocking my body…I’m still at my lowest weight I’ve been in 8 to 10 yrs and most strongest physical shape I’ve ever been in…

It’s been such an amazing summer… I have never been so busy in my life… I can’t tell u the last time I was this happy… my life is very full. I have overcome alot… especially this year… and it’s been such a blessing having you guys, my family and friends in my life… finding Jenny has been a journey… yes it’s been up and yes it’s been down but having the ok’s and the grey’s of the black and whites is the key for me….

Today was my first day of not having to be somewhere by a certain time… I had alot of catching up to do… but I just paced myself… my calls backs for work stuff is quite a task but my personal call backs is by far the longest list I had….I just wanted to spend some time doing what I WANTED to do (today at some point) and it felt great… I got on computer early in the am and just said to myself “I just want to swim like a fish” and play w Dexter…so I did. I ended up doing 75 laps (1 lap=back and fourth once to me).  Then I made calls and off I went. I needed a meeting so I went, then work… coffee and to the gym were I worked out for 2hrs & 45 mins…I stopped and talked w a few familiar faces…one being a dear friend of mine GORDI HOFFMAN… he is so sweet & a brilliant writer and director , we did an abs class together.  Then I hit the steam room. I’ve been doing the steam room for the last week. Yesterday I worked in the am at PRC then went to visit my Mickey. I received an urgent call from someone,so I ended up doing a 12step call for like 5 hrs…till the evening… that drained me. My boy JIM  had a screening of our good friend ASHLEY HAMILTON’s movie that he produced at his house were I stay-so I came home to a house of about 14 people. I stayed up till 3am.  There were some pretty amazing people there like Sydney, Cara, Rome and other industry people whom I mostly know.  It was such a fantastic night w such creative people from actors, writers, producers, musicians and just all people in the the industry…(oh &I was in my work out gear, not so hot but oh so comfortable).  I love JIM so much and ASHLEY is a sweetheart… JIM’s like an angel for me. A friend of his stayed the night and we tortured him- talking poop talk and girl stuff around him … he’s easy to gross out. TUESDAY I worked and I have to say I was so nervous when I got asked to do this job I was like “SURE, NO PROB” then as soon as I got off phone a wk ago I was like “what the F did I just say…”  It was for a BIKINI SHOOT for a MAGAZINE…OMG…. I was stressing over this. I woke up at 6am and made coffee- drank it and boom I threw up like the exorcist from the nerves. I have to say the shoot was magical…SEAN JAMES, CAMERON COHEN, SHAWNA ANKENBRANT AND LEAH ORNSTEIN MADE ME FEEL AND LOOK BEAUTIFUL…. there were a few other people there but that was my core crew. We shot at such a gorgeous house in Bel Air… Sean put extensions in my hair for 3 hrs … the look was Hollywood Starlet Returns and  Homage to Sophia Loren and Rachel Welch….aghhhhh we’ll see how it turns out. The swimming has gotten me so much smaller….people lately stop me and say “oh my you are tiny…”  Makes me want to cry and people who haven’t seen me in a very very long time and friends now both say I’m back to my modeling day’s body. Again I’m in awwwwe and just want to cry … I FIGHT DAILY IN ALL MY AFFAIRS AND THE PAY OFF IS REWARDING… it’s breaking the old ideas of myself and of life . I do believe ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN LIFE…

I’m so tired that I’m going to go to sleep now…

I LOVE U

                                                      Watch the episode! (See below)

HEALTHLINE episode(part 1) HEALTHLINE episode(part 2) HEALTHLINE episode(part 3)

I’m really amazed how the phrase “This Too Shall Pass” actually makes sense… only in my case, sometimes it takes a hot minute for me to see and actually feel it… reason I say this is because I feel joy and happiness more than not lately …. I find myself smiling more inside than outwardly at the moments that are quiet… and since I feel my quiet times are in the car lately, it’s there where I feel the passing…ok well my car is where so much of my time is spent these days … a wk ago I was sobbing in the car in btw the jobs and this wk I’m not…

I got to spend 2 hrs of “Jenny alone time” on Thurs… of course I did work and proceeded on Fri to believe that I was cured of the exhaustion… haaa!!!!! So I got up super early before 7am and had TEEN CHOICE AWARDS event to attend in Westwood that Ryan Secrest &KISS FM hosted and my date was mama Gimenez…I received so many amazing things …I was blown away… there were alot of heavy hitters, I had seen alot of “big named celebrities” and one  woman in particular who blew me away was DOT MARIE JONES from GLEE… we talked for a long time …she said she was a fan of mine and Soberhouse / CelebRehab-so she came up to me and I was thinking to myself but ur an amazing actress that is super talented  on a rad show ???? We’ve stayed in touch last few days… LOVE LOVE LOVE her…I asked someone who is a big big big name what the secret to their success was and this man who is gi-normous in the industry said they “never say no to anything” … it made me feel some comfort cuz that’s what I was told to do and I have kept my commitment  to that…. hence the exhaustion….so I feel I’m in the right place doing the right thing. It’s really nice to have my mom experience this time w me because I can see she is proud of me… then mama Gimenez and I went shopping and to lunch, which was 5:30pm…I was so beat down like I had ran a marathon and I got home by 6:15 to get picked up by a friend at 6:45pm to go to an AA meeting back to Westwood… I ended up at a late dinner w 3 lovely ladies doing something I haven’t ever done w this group of women… I’m doing a lot of things I’ve never done before and even though I get scared it’s been soooooo amazing… I have a lot of amazing new people in my life who are loving me and I them. I fell alseep around 2:30am woke up this morning at 8am and got up, ready for another event , wrote and off I went to another TEEN CHOICE AWARDS event till about 2pm…w these events there are photos, cameras following u and a media frenzy w a lot of things going on all at once … so much fun I loved being there as well… I also committed to going to my little cousins SELAHs 1 yr birthday party… it was sooo nice seeing my uncle Rueben so happy w his baby girl and a lot of my family…around them I’m just “Jenny”… there was a moment where I could feel my grandma there looking over us , I got this overwhelming feeling ,where I kid u not ,I felt her-I sensed her …I actually got goose bumps , so I know it was her…I know !!!!!!…. my mom is the oldest so I see a lot of my grandma in her… I hope one day I can give her a grandson or granddaughter or even both …. considering I’m not dating not likely to happen just yet…. I do want to have kids one day ,actually get married first…we’ll see…. right now I’m finding JENNY…after that I went to mama Gimenez’s house ,worked out at gym but for only 40 minutes, spent some ma/daughter time and ran around w my MICKERZ … God he is so precious….so much love and so friggin adorable and seriously he acts like a baby…. he makes my heart melt….I’m glad he is w my mama for the time being…. came back to house I’m at and worked for a bit …. and here I am…. must say I’m tired and drained, kinda seeing 4 computers instead of 1…. note to self : when u think u can keep going at 100mph just because u somewhat rested ….don’t! I’m gonna need a few days or even a wk to repair this wear and tear I’ve done… this too shall pass…..

I’ve been bat s### crazy lately… I feel like a robot just going… I’ve been uplifted by ur love and encouragement…last week I did so much…I went to an event where USHER performed and it was fun…I did tv shows…podcasts…webisodes…interviews…business meetings/dinners/lunches,fittings, oh jeez and the list goes on…oh and then there’s somewhat of my personal life like gym, spending time w my mom,brother, little MICKEY,12 step meetings and seeing a couple of my friends…working w my sponsies, working thru my …well…. growing pains… it feels like the flood gates of all these new emotions are opening up…good and bad. I’m growing up…

I must say I’m losing alot of hair, got a terrible eye twitch(which I found out is from stress) , my face is breaking out like a 13 yr old boy hitting puberty, my voice goes in and out from exhaustion and I’m getting grays…I feel like I’m getting wrinkles and need toothpicks for my eyes… ya not so HOT….this too shall pass…it’s kinda hysterical to me at this point….

this week started crazy and ended cray …. I’m honestly goin’ 100mph…I did “ISSUES W JANE VALEZ MITCHELL”on Mon on HLN, more interviews this wk , I also did DR.DREW SHOW on HLN on Wed which was super AWESOME , did a few CANADIAN TV/TALK NEWS SHOWS, did live RADIO, ON CAMERA GREEN SCREEN SHOOTS, met w my MANAGER MARKI COSTELLO who ROCKS , vh1 Blogs, other blogs, did other TV SHOW, SPENT SOME TIME W friends like  BRANDI GLANVILLE AND TATUM ONEAL,SAW MY MAMA AND BROTHER AND LITTLE  MICKERZ , went to CHURCH, 12 step meetings, committments,GYM ,EVENTS, AND SOOOOOO SOOO SOOOO MUCH MORE… THIS WEEK WENT SO DAMN FAST I MEAN SUPER FAST I ALSO WENT TO DR’s WHO SAID I HAD LOST EVEN MORE WEIGHT …guess that’s good… I am eating and last 2 day’s somewhat slept… today I went to the gym then swam for 2 1/2 hrs which was so nice it was me and DEXTER a dog I’m watching he is soooo sweet… I love where I am this last wk…..tomorrow is a big day… I have CELEBRITY REHAB EPISODE 6 ON VH1 AT 9PM THEN AT 10PM I’M ON MY GOOD FRIEND TATUM ONEALS SHOW ON OWN NETWORK, which I haven’t seen so I’m a little nervous… but let me tell u this as I was in treatment 6 yrs. ago OPRAH gave me hope, at one point I was going to send her a letter asking her if I could go intern for her and share my experience of who I was and what I did…I never got the courage to go through with it- but she encouraged me as I’m sure she encourages the world…I had to save my life …I would pass out to meet her and here I am about to be on her NETWORK… miracles do exist…..OMG OMG OMG… I know that I sound like a geek , but I am, and I’m so grateful for my life today…

I know people are emailing me, tweeting and posting to me to “slow down” but u only have one life and this is my time right now to BE IN MY REALITY THAT I  ONLY HAD DREAMED OF BEFORE…SEIZE MY OPPORTUNITY, WHERE I GO THERE I AM….

I must say this week I cried a lot … sometimes in my car and I had alot of panic attacks cuz I am breaking old ways of thinking… for instance-that I’m not enough etc…the old ways of what was, no longer has to be in my life today…..the crying to me is healthy because I was told tears are signs of my soul and spirit healing….in the midst of my being a personality and image I am my true JENN self and I share that as I go thru it w my confidants and U as well… they tell me it’s ok to be me and that I must be going thru so much inwardly and they are here for me…at the same time I am holding it together while I go in a public arena…sometimes they (my friends and family) hugging me is ENOUGH…. I yearn for my loved ones to touch me it’s so soothing to me… and I’m saying  that in a loving & nurturing way….the human hand-touch is so powerful…well I’m off to bed cuz it’s a big day for me… I’m doing a few hrs. of me time in early am…. I’m taking myself out on a date… to the balcony to write, have some coffee then a swim and my nails did time, cuz I destroyed them from all the  stress, then off to work…. I LOVE U DEARLY…U are helping me HEAL  xoxooxoxo

Honestly I am so effing wiped out I feel like I’m seeing stars….I honestly lost it at an AA meeting…I walked in and just started balling like no ones business…the great thing about that was people embraced me and they got me without words… I’m very thankful for them…without words we speak the same language ….I feel like I’m living out of my car lately… I just carry so many bags w me for so many things and I’m tired… yes on paper it looks and is great but I’m overwhelmed….I’m living the DREAM and I’m grateful… my dream date is to go by myself to the beach and watch the sunset and just be… that will not happen till a while but at least it’s something to look forward to…

I shot UBEUlifestyle today and the crew was incredible… so much love and support … the experience was memorable and I was blown away by the production…CHRISTINA GIUSEPPE asked me questions that were deep that I have never been asked before… at one point I cried and broke down because I had to tap into some very sad times in my life…but I pulled thru and got there and answered the questions….I ended up having a blast …

Then ANDY DICK  wanted to meet up w me so I rushed over after a 9 hr day of work…I went to meet him and it was amazing….. I’m proud of him… he really is an ANGEL to me and was the one that ENCOURAGED ME TO LOSE WEIGHT AND GET BACK INTO ACTING…we are like BEST FRIENDS and he knows I love him deeply… he was my inspiration  to move forward… I’m eternally grateful to him…. he is a bright lite that entered my life…he also brought the FUN and LAUGHTER back into my life almost 3 yrs ago….

I came home and TWEETED LIVE and now I have to be up at 6am for work….

I am doing the ADAM CAROLLA show tomorrow night… really excited to meet him and a little nervous … I don’t know why but I am….after work in the am I’m coming home to work out and run errands…..

CELEBRITY REHAB tonight was so amazing… Doc was so inspiring to watch and the family that came in blew me away…

I have to go to bed but I LOVE U GUYS SO MUCH.

So much has happened this week …. I have been so on the go… I’m starting to wear out a bit…. I’m so grateful for my girls in my life…AMY, BRANDI, AUNG the list goes on…I don’t get a day off til the 16th of Aug….yes I know people say to take care of me but it’s time for me to seize the moment… God doesn’t give me what I can’t handle…

Alot and I mean alot of people have asked me how I’ve lost the weight… it hasn’t been the easiest thing that I’ve done and it certainly didn’t happen over night… I have done different exercises from walking to running to fast walk, stairmasters, weights,both heavy and light. I’ve learned how to eat … I’m constantly changing up my routine… these last few weeks have been difficult cuz I’ve been on the go and sometimes can’t work out or eat well….. I get to be in charge of my body…

I have worked every single day this week and sometimes 3 jobs or publicity things a day… I work tomorrow on UBEU lifestyles it’s a shoot all day long then I’m on CELEBRITY REHAB EPISODE 4 TOMORROW NIGHT… I think that I’m going to TWEET LIVE FOR THE WEST COAST SHOW…. NEXT WEEK I WILL ALSO BE ON THE “ONEALS” ON OWN NETWORK W TATUM ONEAL WHO IS A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE…. IT IS ON SUNDAY NIGHT AS WELL. I have to say I’M SO HONORED TO BE IN HER SHOW AND ON OPRAHS NETWORK… NOW OPRAH IS ONE OF MY HEROS….u have no idea….

I have spent the week w AMY who literally is my saving grace lately ….I’m so lucky to have her in my life… and I’ve also spent the last few days w BRANDI GLANVILLE…. I’m actually at her house tonight… I babysat the boys yesterday evening and it was truly a blessing to be w her and her boys and sooo much fun…. well since I have to get up uber early I must retire to sleep now… I love all the support and love I’m getting from u all. Honestly sometimes it’s u guys that keep me going…

God I don’t know last time I blogged…but I’ve been everywhere and done so much ….Thursday I went to an event my girl Serene was doing  w my AMY and I also went to HSMPR to pull clothes cuz I have many things going on … fri  I also went to REDLIGHTPR  and pulled some amazing pieces … they have been so good to me there… I tried on like 40 pieces and was there for 3 hrs …my day started at 6:30 am and ended up that afternoon at PATTY’s (MY GODMA/MENTOR) house and we had a blast then I went to dinner w a friend of mine and we talked for 4 or more hours… it felt great doing that ….but I finally went to bed at 4am … Sat I went to the gym and had a GALA EVENT function to attend that I took 1 of my BESTIES MANDY SHERMAN as my HOT DATE…the Organization is “FACE FORWARD” …. which helps WOMAN AND CHILDREN who are victums of ABUSE on ALL LEVELS…some of these women get their faces  and body parts cut off and are so tortured it’s beyond my understanding…this wonderful organization helps them get their outer bodies reconstructed and more importantly helps them inwardly as well. Yesterday I got up after yet another super late night and went to the gym,got ready and did the “O-BROWN” show w STEVEN ADLER and Will Smith from CELEB REHAB …I have to say it was one of the best nights of work I had… there were so many people there and I had such a blast…STEVEN is doing great … I do LOVE that guy, we get along beautifully…. and came home to 5 hrs of sleep… I got up today and did my group at PRC, gym, work calls, interviews etc…lifes in session … and now I can barley type… I have a super full week…

there’s something I want to share w u that is very important and hard to say ,… just typing the last words is making me cry but I believe it’s time to heal and share this so I can close this door, my past doesn’t have to be my future… I believe I deserve the chance to be happy, loved and living my dream….

. …BEING A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN EXPOSED TO ABUSE MYSELF I was very honored to be a part of a great CAUSE AND FIGHT for ABUSED WOMEN …I am a survivor of abuse ..and I know many people who have been .. I have dealt with the issues that stem from being exposed to certain abuse…today I can say I have broken the cycle ….ill tell u it is not an easy one to over come ….BUT IT CAN BE OVERCOME I PROMISE U….”WHEN THE BATTERED LEAVES THE BATTERER, THEN THERES NO ONE TO BATTER.THE CYCLE ENDS AND THEN THE JOURNEY TO START HEALING CAN BEGIN”…THATS WHAT MY GODMAMA PATTY told me Fri….these are some of my darkest secrets I didn’t want to reveal but am ready to let it go,heal and move on from..I am very fragile and vulnerable lately because on top of all that a new change is occuring….this is me coming out w it….my friends and family have been very supportive w me thru this time of pain and growth and most of all healing period …. its funny how GOD has me on such a busy schedule that I can’t sit thru the pain that long…but it does come… the grieving cycle… my sponsor said to me I have been liberated…. I just tell GOD he must heal it and I’ll do the actions but I don’t ask to plz help me heal this is for him to do… BUT YES I AM DOING THE WORK…. and I do LOVE U and thank you for being able to accept all of me.