Jul
31.
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I’ve been bat s### crazy lately… I feel like a robot just going… I’ve been uplifted by ur love and encouragement…last week I did so much…I went to an event where USHER performed and it was fun…I did tv shows…podcasts…webisodes…interviews…business meetings/dinners/lunches,fittings, oh jeez and the list goes on…oh and then there’s somewhat of my personal life like gym, spending time w my mom,brother, little MICKEY,12 step meetings and seeing a couple of my friends…working w my sponsies, working thru my …well…. growing pains… it feels like the flood gates of all these new emotions are opening up…good and bad. I’m growing up…

I must say I’m losing alot of hair, got a terrible eye twitch(which I found out is from stress) , my face is breaking out like a 13 yr old boy hitting puberty, my voice goes in and out from exhaustion and I’m getting grays…I feel like I’m getting wrinkles and need toothpicks for my eyes… ya not so HOT….this too shall pass…it’s kinda hysterical to me at this point….

this week started crazy and ended cray …. I’m honestly goin’ 100mph…I did “ISSUES W JANE VALEZ MITCHELL”on Mon on HLN, more interviews this wk , I also did DR.DREW SHOW on HLN on Wed which was super AWESOME , did a few CANADIAN TV/TALK NEWS SHOWS, did live RADIO, ON CAMERA GREEN SCREEN SHOOTS, met w my MANAGER MARKI COSTELLO who ROCKS , vh1 Blogs, other blogs, did other TV SHOW, SPENT SOME TIME W friends like  BRANDI GLANVILLE AND TATUM ONEAL,SAW MY MAMA AND BROTHER AND LITTLE  MICKERZ , went to CHURCH, 12 step meetings, committments,GYM ,EVENTS, AND SOOOOOO SOOO SOOOO MUCH MORE… THIS WEEK WENT SO DAMN FAST I MEAN SUPER FAST I ALSO WENT TO DR’s WHO SAID I HAD LOST EVEN MORE WEIGHT …guess that’s good… I am eating and last 2 day’s somewhat slept… today I went to the gym then swam for 2 1/2 hrs which was so nice it was me and DEXTER a dog I’m watching he is soooo sweet… I love where I am this last wk…..tomorrow is a big day… I have CELEBRITY REHAB EPISODE 6 ON VH1 AT 9PM THEN AT 10PM I’M ON MY GOOD FRIEND TATUM ONEALS SHOW ON OWN NETWORK, which I haven’t seen so I’m a little nervous… but let me tell u this as I was in treatment 6 yrs. ago OPRAH gave me hope, at one point I was going to send her a letter asking her if I could go intern for her and share my experience of who I was and what I did…I never got the courage to go through with it- but she encouraged me as I’m sure she encourages the world…I had to save my life …I would pass out to meet her and here I am about to be on her NETWORK… miracles do exist…..OMG OMG OMG… I know that I sound like a geek , but I am, and I’m so grateful for my life today…

I know people are emailing me, tweeting and posting to me to “slow down” but u only have one life and this is my time right now to BE IN MY REALITY THAT I  ONLY HAD DREAMED OF BEFORE…SEIZE MY OPPORTUNITY, WHERE I GO THERE I AM….

I must say this week I cried a lot … sometimes in my car and I had alot of panic attacks cuz I am breaking old ways of thinking… for instance-that I’m not enough etc…the old ways of what was, no longer has to be in my life today…..the crying to me is healthy because I was told tears are signs of my soul and spirit healing….in the midst of my being a personality and image I am my true JENN self and I share that as I go thru it w my confidants and U as well… they tell me it’s ok to be me and that I must be going thru so much inwardly and they are here for me…at the same time I am holding it together while I go in a public arena…sometimes they (my friends and family) hugging me is ENOUGH…. I yearn for my loved ones to touch me it’s so soothing to me… and I’m saying  that in a loving & nurturing way….the human hand-touch is so powerful…well I’m off to bed cuz it’s a big day for me… I’m doing a few hrs. of me time in early am…. I’m taking myself out on a date… to the balcony to write, have some coffee then a swim and my nails did time, cuz I destroyed them from all the  stress, then off to work…. I LOVE U DEARLY…U are helping me HEAL  xoxooxoxo


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