Jim Hecht, John Leguizamo & I

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My little brother DWIGHT  graduated USC and decided after 911  to go FIGHT for OUR country… He served Our country for 6yrs in the NAVY… He was on the USS CARL VINSON for 4 yrs…his position there was quite an extraordinary one…. he fought in the war and did so much in those 6 yrs that is beyond my own understanding… i find my baby brother and ALL THE MEN AND WOMAN WHO SERVE OUR COUNTRY TO BE THE TRUE HEROS of this NATION!!!! Im in AWE OF U ALLL… THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COURAGE,HEART,SWEAT AND TEARS U HAVE PUT IN FOR ALL OF US TO HAVE FREEDOM….

ive been eating clean lately ,which has been such an effort and choice that ill tell u is not an easy one…for the last 3 wks i gave up oils,butters,fat,meat ,carbs,dairy and sugar….. i went on stevia and gave up sweetners…. oh sweet LORD the torture… this wk im back on oils ,olive oil that is, almond oil or coconut oil…. also ive been eating in small portions and clean …lots of lemon and white fish ,crab,shrimp andveggies at a x…ill tell u more later… but 13 lbs is off… oh and WATER lots of it about a gallon….

i just got called in for more OTFs for CELEBRITY REHAB SEASON 5 this THRUS eve…. I also have an event to go to THRUS NITE!..gonna be a busy evening…

its kinda mind blowing that were in MAY already…. How and why does time fly soooooo fast!

yesterday i was walking MICKEY and he did his poopie dutie outside and here i am with a bag … all proud doing my dutie as his poopie dutie cleaner upper and i scoop up his doodoo and sure enough there was a hole in the bag so i got his poopie dutie all over my fingers….aghhhhhhhh smudged mind u all over my fingers and hand….ahhh the perks of being a mommy…



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yes its been a while since i wrote. you  know its taken  its toll on me…not being able to write is not good for me… ill be honest i feel like im about to explode becuz ive even stop in my personal journal… i can be lame and say ive been too busy … not an exception…

im blown away by all u lovely beings… supporting, loving  and cheering me along has been a gift for me…at times i kept asking myself” why the hell am i doing this for”… I DO NOT RUN A SOBERLIVING HOME OR WORK IN RECOVERY IN MY DAILY LIFE…I WAS BROUGHT IN BECAUSE OF MY RECOVERY AND THAT IVE BEEN WHERE THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN…the “AWARENESS” SOBERHOUSE 1 &2: has been able to provide   addicts and alcoholics still suffering ,recovering addicts and alcoholics, family/friends /loved ones who live(d) w people like me or have ever loved one of us and have gone thru the torement of our disease w us , is really the reason i did it again…i only say this because it is people like u who email me ,come up to me,post ,comment and all other kinds of modern ways of contact tell me.. then theres “THOSE PEOPLE” ,ahh im praying for u, all these people blogging on messageboards or on tweets  myspace and facebook all this  negative stuff makes me sad… but with every good thing in life comes some bad… over all ,about 97% of the response has been positive, the support and love im getting from people is truly amazing…like everyone else in the world i have over come obstacles… i am a child of  a loving GOD and he has made me ,despite of my down falls ,a woman who has a story to tell… my experience ,strength and hope that miracles do exist…No… what u guys see on t.v is what really happened ,nothing was acted out… i may be an actress but i was dealing with seriously sick people trying to save there lives as well as me staying somewhat sane and sober thru that time in the house… this group was the toughest 8 people i could have ever imagined… it was me against them(more like the disease)…a bit too intense im really lucky i didnt get  hurt or killed…but then theres things u will not see and ohhh the power of editing….like me being super stern, did happen, but first i was kind and gentle but most of the time it was mistaken for weakness and they (most of them) kept pushing my buttons..i want u to know how grateful i am to have been able to be of service…

so LIFE and STYLE MAGAZINE is now coming out in a few weeks 2nd week in APRIL… i will keep u posted.. they pushed it back due to some scandals lately…ive been on planes and cars for the last month…i really love traveling … my schedule starts sometimes at 4:30 am and once in a while ends 2/3a.m… not everyday id lose it…im trying my best to juggle my personal life /love/friends/family,work auditions/producing a show/publicity  (etc .etc on this career section) tending to my house,gym and trying (not really) to have a tiny bit of personal time , 12 step program,speaking at 12 step meetings,working w 6 girls daily ,speaking at hospitals and institutions and working w my sponsor on me, sleeping every now and then oh and walking mickey…ill b honest with u lately im tripping out on  having God fulfill my prayers although i can tell u itll work out for u, but i got to jump and know the net will catch me, it always has before…

im really tired and have to get up in 6 hours to start my journey all over again i promise to make an effort to journal at least 4-6 times a week… i love u with all my heart………oh yes still doing intense training but i got back on salt for a hot minute we started dating off and on again ,but were off again … ill explain tomorrow

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Jennifer’s Side Of Sober House – Season 2, Episode 3


As she did last season, house manager Jennifer Gimenez is set to give us her weekly take on each episode of Sober House with Dr. Drew. Below, Jenn talks about the third episode of the show: Mike’s departure (and return), Kari Ann’s intercepted attempt at a return and the curfew violation by a few that resulted in consequences for all.

Toward the beginning of the episode, Mike was kicked out for hitting a camera man. I thought it was strange that he was let back in, given the no-tolerance policy for violence.

The difference between Mike and Kari Ann is that Mike didn’t come into the house loaded and he wasn’t starting havoc. During the group meetings that they had with Drew, he wasn’t interrupting and getting on the phone because he wanted more attention. He was participating. When Mike hit the camera, he felt provoked. Kari Ann had punched the cameraman in the neck; Mike shoved him. It’s still physical violence, it’s still not OK and there are consequences due to that. Keep in mind that Kari Ann didn’t want to be there. She never apologized. Mike did.

But that  all said, there really isn’t a no-tolerance policy regarding violence, then.

Dr. Drew evaluated Mike between him leaving and coming back. I know I said there’s absolutely no violence, but we were worried that Mike would die if he was out. And the thing is that I really did care about Mike. We were a couple days into filming and I started to care about all of them at that point.

Speaking of coming back, Kari Ann attempted to this episode. Was this as big of a surprise as the show made it out to be?

There were finally a couple hours where things were going OK at the house. We are all getting along. Seth and I were bowling, Heidi and Tom were throwing a football. And all of a sudden Bob comes up the hill with Kari Ann. It was like a bomb on our happiness. I was like, “Are you kidding me?” You could see by everyone’s reactions how shocked we were.

From what we saw, you stayed pretty quiet.

I think everybody was freaking out. What you see is the one who freaks out the most, and that’s Heidi. I was more in disbelief and trying to keep calm because I knew if I overreacted the whole house would react. I need to lead by example. Heidi started going off about how Kari Ann was loaded. Kari Ann was being really confrontational and going off on everyone. If you really want to come back into the house, why are you going off on everybody? Kari Ann started getting anyone that she could get on her side, and that person ended up being Tom, which was so weird and gross. It was disgusting.

So you think, as Heidi implied, that he was sexually motivated to take Kari Ann’s side?

Yeah. I think that Tom is very distorted in some areas. I think they are all sick. They are sick trying to get better, but Tom sees this girl, and…I don’t know. I don’t think he was trying to be the hero here. That was the first time I saw the interaction between Tom and Heidi turn — they were getting along and then he did something to piss her off. It wasn’t because he was purposely trying to piss her off. Tom’s not all there, I think you see. Tom has a violent streak, an angry streak.

At this point, it was unfathomable as a viewer that Kari Ann’s return to the house should even be considered.

I agree with you. It wasn’t like Kari Ann was trying to change and get better. It was like Kari Ann was just coming back to play the part. She obviously didn’t want it from the moment she walked in there. So I was really shocked, I was angry, I was appalled. I said that I needed to test her. It was at that moment she decided to leave, and not just because of me but because she realized she wasn’t welcomed there. Heidi did have a great point, why come back to a place where you’re not wanted? At that point we saw her intentions — you can’t bulls*** a bulls****ter. We could see right through that. That’s really a key thing: you know that this girl doesn’t want it so why try and help her? I don’t wish ill will, but if you don’t want it, there are so many other people out there that do.

In happier news, Seth made a decision this episode to stay home and play board games instead of going out on their first free night.

I was blown away, especially after all the stuff that was happening. I was like, “Oh no. This going to end in another webcam apology for Seth. This is going to be terrible.” But all week he had been saying, “I really want this, I really want this.” When he told me he wanted to stay home, I got teary eyed because I saw the desire in him. That’s the difference between Kari Ann and Seth – you can see a desire in a person’s eyes.

On the flip side, Jennie, Mike and Dennis Rodman stayed out, violating curfew.

By the way, Heidi stayed home too — she went to bed early. I suffer from migraines and I caught a full-blown one that night. I was vomiting, I couldn’t see and I had to take my migraine medication. When they came home, I was little out of it. It was like, “Are you kidding me? I have to stay up and wait for these people?”

It did seem unfair that Seth and Kendra were punished for what other people did.

This is a group — they rally together. I figured that if everyone didn’t pay the consequences, the people who did stay would think they could get away with something next week because they were good this week. I wanted the people who did the right thing to be angry at those who messed up, not me. In this setting, if one person fails, they all do, because of the group dynamic. It doesn’t have to do with sobriety, it has to do with accountability to each other. Kendra and Seth didn’t have to write the 150 words, but they did lose their phones. When I was living in a recovery home, I got my phone all the time. I don’t think I had it half the time. It happens.

How long do you take the phones away for?

Twelve hours. They were probably going to sleep eight of those hours.

Dennis gave you the biggest problems about this. Among the things he said to you were that you don’t know what you’re doing, and most people in the house don’t respect you.

Meanwhile, I ended up getting his phone, and he ended up writing. If he didn’t respect me, he wouldn’t have done that. He was just trying to push my buttons and I gave him no reaction.

Keep up with Jenn on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.


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so i had to wear heels today… wow its been a hot minute since i wore heels and since im so freakin sore boy i t was a task…thanks DARLENE…so im wearing this monitor on my arm and somehow im connected to miss.trainer so i feel like its some kind of electric shock she knows what im doing at all times device…today was a much better day dealing with the process of  “body” well ok work out ,pain and eating… i just dont want to get bigger in size or bulky…. ha not that i am but see my head plays mean tricks on me… i ate exactly as i was told… iwas thankful i didnt have to roll on a dumb ball  balancing myself on top of it with push ups and reverse sit ups without touching the floor or do things that my brain cant comprehend but i did have to do man push ups with a twist in the air… i swear im not lyin…as i complain i secretly enjoy the challenge…

today i got to live my dream … well one of them… it had to do with my profession and i was really grateful….

so i came home tonight to find little MICKEYs face covered in mud and greenies covered in dirt all over my living room… so i scream ‘TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM  im going to beat u!!!” … see he taught MICKEY how to barry bones in the backyard and then he digs them up and brings them in the house or at times in my bed on my face as im sleeping…ya and im not so sweet being woken up … ok ok im a total nightmare…. anyways i thought it was a dead something….oh sweet LORD minutes from now im about to turn 4 !!!! wow!!!!!! im grateful for a loving GOD who saved a girl like me !!!! it hasnt been easy but its sure been worth it….IM NOT A MISTAKE AND I MATTER TODAY I AM A MIRACLE!!! i write this with tears coming down my face in disbelief…for anyone out there feeling hopeless in any kind of situation i want to let u know MIRACLES EXIST im living proof and u dont have to do this alone and u can get thru it  if  nobody told u today they love u ,  I  want to say to you “I LOVE YOU AND YOU MATTER”

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 i was very excited when i got the news that i got the cover of PASADENA MAGAZINE MAY issue , MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMAN OF THE YEAR… its crazy to think over 3 years ago what a mess i was , well more just a sick sick sick little one with a disease that was killing me and a spirit that was broken… and that there is hope  and help out there… i finally feel relieved from the last month or two… clear headed and calm at least for now…M ICKEY is doing better and so am I …. today is ok just taking care of whats in front of me…(thats always alot) HA!

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there is this saying  that “this too shall pass”…. Thank GOD for that saying cuz i so need to be reminded that everything passes … lately ive been just going thru it… alot of  little things that just added up and ive been on the go for the last 17 weeks… the breaker was little Mickey getting surgery, prior to that i was running myself to exhaustion… i started feeling like “am i doing the right thing?’ … in my heart i know i am and i have to let go of old thinking that i am a piece of  s#@! … God doesnt make junk… so the last few nites have been restless … Tom and i have been doing Mickey nite shifts …really me mainly  but Tom pitches in and im so grateful… he acts like he is this tough guys guy who cant seem to worry about a 6 pound dog(baby), then i catch him making goggy faces and talking baby talk with Mickey while holding him in craddle postion… Ya tough guy alright … to watch people with animals is precious… my mama has been helping me with Mickey… its her grandson and this lady FLIPS for him … again precious humans with animals …. got my hair did by world famous ROBERTY RAMOS yetserday … 7 hours ya 7 hrs to go 2 shades lighter and the pursuit of fabulous hair and a new look… he rocks … now sitting here with Gretchen while trying to deal with office mayham …

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