Please tune in tonight at   http://www.blogtalkradio.com/randomtalkradio/2010/03/11/sober-house-2    for an in depth interview with me and a few special guests and some special friends…. cant wait to hear from all of ya…xoxoxox Jenn

last nite i was reunited with DR.DREW,MIKE STARR, STEVEN ADLER, JENNIE KETCHAM and WILL  alongside with some  thier friends and family…we got to spend some time  together…TOM was there as well…it was actually a nice few hours spent…in 23 days  SOBERHOUSE 2  is coming out so its about to get even busier for me than i already am…

i have an early audition so im going to make this a quickie tonight…why does being a woman entail so much maintance… i had to color my hair, again… ive gone a lot lighter than last year so its just alot  more work with all the colors in it…between that , the nails, toes, workouts,blah blah its just alot of work…

today i did  ONLY cardio…ive been on the treadmill the last 5/6 days for cardio after my training with Darlene,but today i ran straight with out not even a minute break…i did 1hr 25 minutes … i ended up running close to 7 miles…man i was a red as a tomatoe…i had a whey protien,banana,blueberry shake this a.m then cabbage salad and a handful of walnuts for lunch, for dinner i had tuna sandwhich with cut up olives and pepperchinis w mustard and 2 tablespoons a mayo….i made 2 cans of tuna but have alot left over for tomorrow and/or the next day  or both…i also had 2 oz of chicken i think the running and hard training i also did yesterday is making me need more fuel…and  a vitamin water w/lots of water today…so far today alone ive burned over 3000 calories and  over 15ooo steps…yesterday BOSS kicked my ass w sqats of all sorts my feet holding  medicne ball  side to side sit ups then these 1/2 windmills with my legs side to side and then laying on the medicine ball on my back w/weights in my hands crunching then standing ,curling the weights then falling back on the ball…ya all in one time… we did other things too but man i am super sore today…

there is so much more that goes on in one day but im just to tired to go on…

today was my little brothers bday… tomorrow is my dads anniversary of his death… i miss him so much… i will go see him tomorrow… oh if  GOD can just open heaven up for him to be able to see my brother and i for just 30 seconds…he would be so proud of  DWIGHT…he has turned out to be an incredible man…

i cant even tell u as i approved my comments how excited i was to hear from u woman and 1 man! i was screaming like i won something …TOM just looked at me like “oh no ” here she goes again (with a headshake)….

how did it get from tuesday to saturday so quickly….wednesday i got weighed and measured by DARLENE… im so happy to report that in 2 weeks i lost a little over 5 FAT lbs (not water) and almost 2%body fat…YAY me!!!i only did on Thursday 15minutes of cardio and that was it….my eating sucked…i had lasagna and burger and fries …i didnt drink much water and didnt eat correctly had nothing with me while i drove all over California(not really but kinda)…on Fri i was like ”ok im in control of me ” right> wrong !!!!i didnt drink my shake in am which was day 2 of that…went to the gym to workout with THE BOSS and i drank an energy drink and my vitamins and”boom”i start feeling nauseous…DARLENE was pissed because i knew better and she couldnt help me…i finished my work out and while driving home i held my vomitt in my mouth…yup…i ended up throwing up like crazy for 10 minutes then got ready for a full day …i did ok with the food intake the rest of the day just really tired and fell asleep early…today i kick booty at the gym and with my eating …started off with whey protien shake/yogurt/blueberries/banana, 3 soft ckicken tacos with just cheese on it from BAJA FRESH, a tuna sandwhich and 2 oz of shredded ckicken tonight …ran 1hr 5 minutes and trained biceps ,ugh stomach, chest flies,back , shoulders….over 13500 steps 25oo calories….

 i had lunch with my manager yesterday and she was in shock to see how different i look in 6 weeks… its weird cuz she asked me if i was proud of myself and taking in my accomplishment and to be honest i hadnt thought about it… how much my outsides are changing for the better…its really what ive been yearning for ,for a long time and its not just a dream anymore its a reality …wow…im startled and my eyes are filled with tears right now …i never so discriminated before until i was overweight…people can be so cruel…we started talking about the last month and a half of my life and how busy and overwhelmed i had been …and to be truthful this new way of life has been a full time job lately…maybe its just getting use to it that was so hard…

oh tomorrows VALENTINES DAY and if no one has told you today they love you “I LOVE YOU”… oh its LOVE day… i really (ok most of the time) try to have LOVE day all the time… my dads anniversary of his death is in a few days… GOD I MISS HIM so much… they use to tell me “oh honey itll get better or easier” and my experience is , it doesnt get better it just get less… but when it hits me it feels like it just happened 30 seconds ago…. he was 48 and died unexpectly…i would give my life to have 5 minutes with him again… oh daddy I LOVE YOU SO MUCH… he was a magnetic man with so much charisma and life… he was love…as my tears drop from my face  i want to let you know i know i was loved and am… but a love from a father can never be replaced!!!!

stacey,carol w, vanessa, carly, steve f, tawanda, julie, anna,don,angela,lesley,darlene, chief, victor , don,greg,sammy,cynthia,jenn b,debbie, oh and all u ladies and gentlemen out there who support me and read this journal…I LOVE YOU…

man last nite i ended up doing more cardio and then showered and layed down around 12:30… so then came 5:30 am and my ass was still awake…wtf…ya then 7am this mornin TOM got this call that his brother/friend from I.C.M.C  the President of his motorcycle club was going to work  on his bike and got hit by a car and ran over by a Semi truck… he is in the hospital right now and recovering but by the Grace of God he is ok and nothing was broken although the truck ran over his leg… his name is TOMMY , poor guy…so its been a day of lots of prayers for TOMMY… i finally fell aslepp around 9 am and had canceled my whole day…my day started then around 1pm… i been off all day…although i did end up going to the gym and …

training w DARLENE…yesterday i did all upper body combo and today the legs… and lots  of stomach…and i ended up doing 1hr and 35 minutes of cardio … i have burnt so far over 3000 cals and 18000  steps and did many many miles…i was having trouble doin side planks and kept shouting ‘my mind , my mind is stronger than my body” i got thru it…today i ate a bagel,whey protien/vanilla fat free yogurt/blueberries shake, then 3 garden burgers plain, 2 corn tortillas with chicken … stacey i eat apex oatmeal raison bars… i drink at least 1 to 2 big Smart waters daily plus any other water that is in my way i drink so much effing water these days…DARLENE is weighing me tomorrow morning and body fat measuring me… ill keep u posted …ugh!!!!

um right now TOM says to me “babe u know in the 60’s the housewives would leave the oven open after they cooked ,so u should do thias” then he pursues to open the oven cuz i baked chicken breast….i smiled and bit my tongue…so here i go…”what fooooooool… theres no ring on my finger, to me calling me a house wife…WTF’ jeez at leat give my ass a ring before you go down that road and giving me housewife tip…and a big fat ring at that.”ahhhhh that feels better… ok it was more funny than not… i love him …(he might get up set that i wrote this but….heheheheh.)

so thrus of last week i went bike riding to the post office …thinking i was a car i made a left hand turn into the post office with my mail in my mouth i turn … “oh how cute i am “, ” look at me im a car!!!”…  im turning to go into the drive thru like all the other cars… there are 2 cars in front of me and 10 behind me…what happens next is only something that could only be seen in a comedy movie…i start wobbeling , i start losing control and BOOM!!!!!!!!!!! i fall !!!! not only do i fall but im about to hit a poll so i pull my body more to one side so i could avoid it! i land in a bush with MUD all over my hair,face, mouth, body, clothes shoes and bike on top of me… i am mortified so i start wiping myself off and 5 cars behind me pulls over this lady who asks me if im ok and i reply “ya i cant believe i just fell its been decades since i fell off a bike”… she replies”oh my im glad ur ok but to have had to fall in front of all these cars and people , u must be so embarrassed’ … i couldnt look at her anymore … hello i was more than embarrassed…i got up and waited for the cars to pass and called TOM and was dying… i did end up going thru the drive thru though… i am still covered in sooooooo many bruises its unbelievable….and am so sore… oh man what a fool i was… we live and learn… im being a baby to TOM and DARLENE about it cuz you know, i want some compassion… a friend of mine i call “CHIEF” asked DARLENE if i was an athlete in high school or college? ummmmm i didnt go to school but 2 months out of the year cuz i was busy working as a SUPER MODEL!!!!!!!! and no college yet… so “NO” im not nor was i ever an athlete … but now i am going to be DAMN IT!!!! first i must over come my clumsiness

my weekend was great… i worked out everyday last week but rested sunday… even though i was sore i listened to DARLENE… today i ended up doing 7.5 miles of cardio and trained with the boss for an hour… she now has me burning 3000 caleries a day … i have the “bug” on so its all logged…i ended up burning 3322 calories and took 15569 steps today as well… i had to do 45 minutes more of cardio tonight to burn more caloriesl… DARLENE  might get mad that i didnt eat enough… this morning i had whey protien, yogurt and a banana shake/ for lunch i had 1/2 a salad/  and tonight a protien bar…. see for me i feel its alot but DARLENE doesnt feel that way… im about to get introuble tomorrow…

i am training early then i have to do pick ups/reshoots for SOBER HOUSE 2 … and inbetween i have a lot of work to do for other projects…i have a busy i mean busy week!  

i miss some of my friends i havent seen for a while … that doesnt mean i dont think of you often though xoxoxoxo

my mama isnt feeling  well again… ill i can do is just be there for her and im pray

i am so happy that you are reading my blogs… and that you are commenting on THIS SITE or even on FACEBOOK or MYSPACE…its nice to know there is support out there… and truthfully that im getting honest about my moments of my day…having a connection is so important to me…i have the biggest craving for TACO BELL…nacho belle grande…i talked myself out of going there…but my head was playing nasty games on me… like telling me “no one has to know you can get something,you deserve it”…i didnt!!! but the drive back from Silverlake tonight was like that the whole way home…

Today at the gym eith DARLENE was intense and no joke… i stayed centered and focused… i couldnt stand almost all the stuff we were doing cuz my brain wouldnt connect but ill be damned if i didnt stayed centered to keep at it… today was everything with squats involved and i dont like them but im tired of the lines underneathe my ass having a bunch of friends all around that one line thats only suppose to be there…and all the cellulite … i also decided to do a stupid thing and tell DARLENE (who just gets off on me challenging myself and her) i wanted to work my abs off too… i was so mad doing these crunches and stomach exercises and SLOWLY….wtf…ive been quite active all day…i had a protien shake with a banana, ,light vanilla yogurt and whey for breakfast /then a bowl of tuna with 1/2 a cup of brown rice for lunch/then 4oz of chicken with a teaspoon of mayo salt and pepper for an early dinner/ then a appex protien bar….im so freakin hungry right now but its 1am in the morning so im going to guzzle yet more effing water… oh TACO BELL why are you friends with my enemy cellulite?????

i talk with my little brother DWIGHT everyday and when GOD made DWIGHT he just made him so angelic like… he is such a sweet and loving brother… im so lucky… i miss him i havent seen him since CHRISTMAS and i cant wait til he moves back to L.A soon…no wait i saw him in VEGAS during the New Year but he only saw me for like 5 minutes cuz big sister wasnt cool enough to hang with him and his friends … wow my ego still hurts i guess haaa

i just took  MICKEY out in our backyard to poop… he gets so shy about it… its hysterical watching him in all his ways… he has such a personality …he is so sensitive and sweet and acts like such a baby most of the time then he can be terrible which i absolutley LOVE…

i had to get my roots done yet again… DAMN IT this thing called getting older i wish i was warned about … JEEZ  i can do without the GRAYS… ugh

TOM just sits like a 3 year old yelling in between fast forwarding TIVO “24 BABE 24″… he’s sometimes like a child… and right now i just smile… he came to save the day , so i am grateful to him … so my day started off late cuz well i woke up late …drove frantically over to get my nails done with slippers on and i forgot to brush my hair (ew) then i went home and showered… umm ya my nails were still wet ,messed those up nicely then i got ready for  my reshoots/pick ups for SOBERHOUSE 2 … went back to the house we shot in and was so delighted to see ROB and JOHNNY and some other crew members … they are super awesome…our shoot went quick and smooth so im driving on the 210 fwy when  BOOM car engine and screen lights  goes off and just dies on me  so i started exiting on LAKE and had to start pushing my car ,THANK GOD for nice men, 5 of them, who start pushing  my car with me to a gas station.. my F%$#@!* car broke down for the 3rd time in the last 3 weeks on me… ive had it at the dealership and it has to be something theyve done wrong(again)… im stuck ,and low n behold my night and shinning armor arrives TOM… im crying,tom calls for tow truck and the dealership finally tow truck comes and im just so overwhelmed(real life shit just takes it out of me)…he really (at times) can be a saint… im scheduled to train with DARLENE so he drops me off and waits for me …i have to say the day just started off wrong…

 DARLENES poor adventure with a pissed off  and manic jenn…(TOM sees this side often) … im out of my mind screaming and cursing with a packed and i mean packed gym and crazy girl  here doing out of control exercises… some of the things DARLENE had me do were out of this world really…like man push ups droping elbow to elbow without cheating back to push ups… squats on a medicine ball while balancing on it then throwing a ball catching it …crazy sit ups with a heavy ball in both hands holding until Miss.Thing thought it was a good (torture) time for me to release..squatting with 10 lbs weights lifting weights from anckle up to ceiling against a medicine ball all while squatting… seriously the others were just insane to do  for anyone plus  i was on one( one of those moments)…my eating today was a yogurt ,3 oz of chicken , protien bar and ham and swiss sandwhich … so much water … im still swishing… i didnt do cardio today though…

i just got off the phone with one of my BEST Friends BRANDI GLANEVILLE(CIBRIAN) … im going to go spend the night this week … i miss her … she is such a strong woman and an angel in my life who has been there for me like nobodies business… itll be fun to catch up and just be with her…

man sometimes i wonder whats the lesson with all this shit that goes on in my life…i hope the journey gets smooth for a while soon … although i must say i ran into alot of helping hands with kind faces who just had good intentions…i was wearing my COLTS jacket that JIM IRSAY gave me (he owns the COLTS) and one guy who helped me push my car says at the end ,”hey im saying sorry in advance ” and tips his hat , which happened to be a SAINTS hat… i just smile … see even people of different teams can help one another…

the last few days have been hectic…i guess for all of us life is challenging on a daily basis, right?… my MAMA had a procedure done and had to be hospitalized so i was on daughter duty…. on Thrusday i picked her up and brought her to my house to recover… i always get panicky about my mama… i value her so and love her so much… i have been blessed with a strong MOM!!!…on Thrusday evening i had started feeling alot of pain on my side and prior for a few days had wierd  sharp pains in my back… well the pain started to increase and sure enough i was passing kidney stones…7 years ago i passed 10 yes 10 kidney stones in 1 year so i was familiar with the pain … i thought i was dying… poor TOM ended up taking care of my MOM and i…yesterday i was very sore and sensitive…

i was doing really good on my workouts and eating… yesterday i took the day off from working out and rest … i had a protien shake for breakfast, for lunch i had a turkey provalone cheese ,mustard sandwhich, and a cup of chicken noodle soup for dinner… then came today… umm not so great i woke up at 12:30 ish this afternoon so i decided i couold eat fritos a good size bowl of it … you know it wasnt a choice and it hurt my stomach… i felt gross after that then my MOM came over and we had dinner with TOM … i had meat a piece of bread and  tomatoe salad… the meat was heavy for me, dont get me wrong i do like eating it once in a while but tonight it was so heavy for me… so i decided after dinner to get proactive and vacuum the whole house and get on the treadmill, so i wouldnt feel so shitty about myself… i did 35 minutes and did 2.6 miles…tomorrows a new day and i have choices … i am going to choose to do the things that will help me in my life that are positive like eating right and working out…i do feel bad about my choices today… i am still connected to DARLENE wirelessly so we will be able to see my activities and fat intake calories burnt and so much more… seeing her and working with her is such a blessing…i was spending way to many hours at the gym this week…i guess its better than not right…

on Friday i was talking to ANDY DICK  via text right before he went on stage in West Virginia …and today he was arrested early this morning at a bar, im sure everyone knows already… we talked tonight and he said he was “really sad” and some other things …ill i can say is my heart goes out to him and he knows I LOVE HIM and IM HERE FOR MY LITTLE ANDY DICK… im not here to judge just here to  help , support and love my friends and family when they need it… 

on Monday i get to do reshoots/pick ups  for SOBERHOUSE 2 …ive done like 10 days already… its always nice to see  the crew …

let me just start off by talking about my tom… seriously he is such a little boy sometimes… as im writing he just locked MICKEY in our patio without even noticing…i clean our house and im a freak about it…i ask him maybe 5 times a year to help me put the sheets on the bed and seriously he kicks and screams like a baby about it… dropping f bombs and turning red its hysterical to me and how can it be a man like him changes clothes so damn much in a week… i feel like i just folded 507 t-shirts….oh i forgot to mention i also do laundry a few times a week …theres so many funny moments with TOM…watching his reaction (sometimes ) cracks me up

well tomorrow is my TOM’s birthday…

 ive been under the weather(again)… ive been around and hugging way to many people and alot of them have been sick… why hug when your sick… i only say this cuz i had pneumonia and bronchitis and its so easy for me to get sick… im now back on meds for bronchitis… man my body is so sensitive lately ….

relearning to eat correctly has been a challenge for me…ya i get sore from working out but trying not to get overwhelmed with this food intake is my challenge…see my head tells me im eating way to much and im going to get fat…but im following DARLENEs direction…i dont know if its just me but being educated on nutrition is something ive lacked in… today i had a protien shake in the morning, 4 oz of chicken and 2 corn tortillas for lunch, low fat/low sodium soup and an orange for dinner…. and yes so much water , i wished it was a slurpee ;)!!! tomorrow DARLENE said to be ready cuz she is going to intensify my training …great…. hopefully i feel better and i can do this…

SOBER HOUSE 2 comes out in MARCH on VH1!!!

 JAN 15TH  is my sober birthday… i just turned 4 !… honestly im pretty blown away how different my life is today…its so much better .. i have peace ,joy, happiness and a lot of laughter for the most part… ive learned im not alone in my journey…. ive learned that people actually care and that there are good hearted people out in the world… you know i am blessed with what i have and i love the people i have in my life  today, im grateful for all the people who have come and gone in my life as well because i learned and leaned on them in those days , so to them i say “Thank You” ….

today i woke up with a migraine… i suffer from migraines … they are so dibilitating…. i get the full blown works… cant see, smell of anything kills me, i can only be in the dark, i must lay in bed, i throw up, my body hurts and my head just throbs uncontrollably…with migraine medication it eventually does pass but boy when they come its terrible and it takes me a few hours to feel somewhat normal again after the matter….

the last 24hrs hours with this eating 5 times a day thing i was NOT so good on … part of writing my next 6/8 weeks experience with connecting in all areas of my life is telling on myself … with eating yesterday and today my time was cut short and boom i just forgot to eat  then i had an extremely late nite last nite and had dinner at midnight…. then with the migraine ,forget about it,  the last thing i wanted to do was smell food so then i would throw it up… u know its just planning ahead and cooking things so im prepared to be on time…i know it sounds simple but its not for me with my crazy schedule…  i hope i can keep on track with it… im trying… my body is still so sore… jeez when does the pain end…i rested finally after weeks of not having a day off at the gym … i go back tomorrow after i go to my home group 12 step meeting then a panel…