Nov
28.
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My life has become so full….I’m blessed beyond words…my life is so diverse…I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I’m truly sorry…more for me actually because I don’t even know where to begin.  This year really was my SURRENDER YEAR and I remember in the beginning of the yr telling/asking  GOD  that I WAS WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TOOK TO FIND MYSELF, MY HAPPINESS and to GET OUT OF FEELING STUCK. Be careful what you pray for because it does come to pass…at least that has been my experience. I was so good at telling you to jump and that the net would catch you,but all of a sudden I found myself not doing the same…so I did. I JUMPED and my GOD and all his angels have caught me…. from my family to my friends, loved ones and so many others  I didn’t know actually cared for my well being. I have found fun, love and hope this year on a level I didn’t know existed.

In January I’ll be 6 yrs sober…yes I’m 1st to say all I have is today… living in my moment has become so rich and full…filled with trials and errors….but I’m so not alone right now. I’m in awe of the girl that I never thought  could be loved…and I’m finding that I AM. It’s scary to disclose my true self but showing that to you in my blogs is something I wanted to do because I’M FINDING JENNY and no longer am ashamed of that…I get to look the world in the eye. I’ve gone from having the man with a big house,puttting my life till this day in storage, to renting a couch for a 100 dollars a wk while wearing  $10000 outfits on red carpets,  all the while sobbing in fetal position…to living with my POCKETSIZE AMY HALL, MY ANGEL JIM HETCH and having DEXTER(his dog) nurture me back to health and finding safety-to living with my BFF BRANDI GLANVILLE and her boys because I’ve ended a relationship. I’ve also been  in a terrible car accident & totaled my car (my fault), liability only so had to get a new one. I had my wallet stolen a month ago with all my idenity in it. I just wanted to feel some love and not feel alone… there was a point that night when I was walking into MASTRO’s with Brandi-and my brother called  saying credit card companies were calling due to irregular activities…and there I was outside calling the c.c. companies…and someone came up to me to say they were a fan…and paps were taking pictures of me…and honestly I got off the phone and thought “what’s the fucking point” and the very next thought was what I alway’s tell you guys ” WE ALL HAVE A STORY TO TELL” and I want mine to be a damn good one. Exactly 2 wks later I GOT A MOVIE & became the voice & face for KLEAN CENTER & began doing groups there while taking human behavior, mental disorders & drug addiction courses. I also have been having a great time socially …

The movie I’m doing is called “CHASTITY BITES” and I’m so honored to be a part of it. I shoot all of DECEMBER. I’ve  been to the table read, met the rad cast and crew and gone to fittings. I am having a great time being involved and seeing my character come to life…I was scared to say the last 6 years I wanted to act again-but I have 1 life to live & ppl told me to DREAM BIG and I AM NOW….I believe that I can have MY FULL DREAM….SOBRIETY, FAMILY,a CAREER, FRIENDS and A MAN  & 1 day MARRIAGE AND KIDS…&I’m open for whatever else comes my way.  At the end of the day I AM FINDING JENNY …the woman in me gets to protect the girl inside and it’s you who teaches me that…so…THANK U….

On a funny note this last wk I have been a huge cluts. I was helping BRANDI get the groceries from her car and I ate it so hard on her driveway…ughhhh. Then I kept getting bruises all over…and finally I had an allergic reaction to new products on my face and I looked like a watermelon on THANKSGIVING morning. The swelling has gone down 75/80% but OMG what a nightmare. What I learned from this is U KNOW U ARE LOVED WHEN PPL STILL WANT TO SEE U AND BE AROUND U….



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4 Comments

  1. CariAz says:

    Thank You for being Jenny ;))

  2. Guy Hamilla says:

    thanks for sharing Jenn. It’s always good to hear what’s happening in your life. Lot’s of turmoil and love, sounds like a good life. Love you, stay in the moment, love you more, prayer, meditation and moderation…..love always, guy

  3. Penny says:

    Good for you! You sound like you’re in a great place in your life, yet you still remain humble and down to earth. That’s what people love about you. Keep it up. You’re finding the secret of life and true happiness. God bless.

  4. Terry Loncaric says:

    Your new film sounds interesting! I recognized you on “Housewives” from your former episodes of “Sober House.” I admired your courage in dealing with some tough addiction situations. You are clearly coming into your own. I am also on a health journey, trying to lose a ton of weight. I’ve only lost 15, but I’m going to keep going, and this time I am sure I will succeed. Your spirituality shines in your words. I am a freelance writer and also work with kids with learning disabilities with their writing skills. I just had to tell you I admire your determination. If you ever want to do an interview, and you’re connected with any new projects, feel free to contact me. I am a freelance writer. If you Google my name, a bunch of articles should pop up. (Terry Loncaric. I just wanted to tell you that I admire the path you have taken.
    Terry L.

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