Oct
03.
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I found myself wanting to pick up the phone and call my dad this week… I have this moment thats like “oh I can’t wait to tell my dad…. he will be so happy… ” and BOOM it’s a 5 second delay and I just get shocked as if “WHY IS HE NOT HERE DAMN IT”!!!!!!!! I write this with tears pouring down my face …then I realize it’s just one of those things that I have to accept. I’ve had one of the best weeks of my life…so much growth,miracles and break throughs happened…

I’m on day 10 of “EATING CLEAN’ diet… really it’s not a diet, it’s a way to detox ur body of all the crap one can consume…. …honestly it’s just really clean eating. For 2 days before I start,I eat as much and whatever I want. If u look in my past blogs from 2010 you’ll see my blogging of my weight loss even prior to that….it seriously did not happen over night and I tend to eat what I like;I’ve learned so much about my body and it being like a machine. I ask alot of questions and take vitamins like fish oils, womens multi vitamins and many others. Everyone is different so I take what I find works for me. I also work out differently (weekly or daily)….shocking my body is key…but eating correctly is the secret. The “eating clean” is everything organic, no oils , no butters, lemons…and Stevia is one of my best friends. I swam today and have been doing cardio this past wk…. and in my cardio I make sure my heart rate is between 130 to 140… it allows me to burn fat,not muscle…and since I’m eating very little calories-throughout the day I get a bit tired. I do alot of situps and light weights. I will be on this for 3 more days…it allows me to get my metabolism up. I’ve lost a good amount of weight,which is incredible…

I worked with my sponsor this week for over 6 hrs , worked w sponsies, attended meetings. I also hung out on Thurs. morning w JAMIE LEE CURTIS and SHAWNA ANKENBRANT ( she is the photographer I shot STAR MAG with, she is sooo talented , I feel safe w/ her). On Fri. nite I went to ASHLEY HAMILTON’s birthday party his mom ALANA and my bff JIM HECHT threw for him. It was soooooo much fun… I laughed so hard. Last Monday my bff BRANDI GLANVILLE came out on HWOBH… a friend of ours had a gathering for her… I was and am very proud of her…

I think that I’m getting sick…. ughhh…

I have a few jobs lined up (coming soon)…oh & my STAR MAGAZINE article came out this week!!!! I can’t believe that I’m in a bikini for the whole world to see… wow I would have never believed that I would be back in a bikini shape body. I hope you all can see it ….more photos are coming out soon from that shoot…

I was on the PRISM Awards on FX last Sunday nite…. thank u to all who watched it…

Lately since the STAR MAG came out alot of people are asking me if I’m dating alot,or if my phone is blowing up with guys asking me out…and truth be told is “NO!” Not a date at all. I do think I’m close to ready or am ready,I think. My sponsor has me “dating myself”….saying things that I would want a guy to say to me. It’s odd but I’m doing it. I’m just so fragile and vulnerable right now-and I just don’t want to deal with getting hurt. I believe that I’ve healed from my past relationship. I must say,I have alot of male friends in my life who are amazing …. they are very special to me and I am blessed to have them…

Facebook and Twitter have been something that I’ve grown to love … only because of all the love and support I receive on there…I just love everyone on FB and Twitter… and I especially love U!!!!!

 

 


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4 Comments

  1. Good luck this week and congratulations on your article! All the best and most blessed to you!

  2. raggie says:

    dateing is over rated take time for you jen and you look amazeing

  3. Guy Hamilla says:

    thanks Jenn for sharing. you are always so honest and raw. I love that about you. My Mom’s spirit left her body on 9/20/2003. I used to call her every week without fail since 1995, the year I got sober. It was the highlight of my week. We used to chat about every thing from siblings, to cousins, uncles, aunts, the state of the world, but mostly about Jesus. My Mom loved Jesus and I think my forward way of thinking on spiritual ideals really interested her. It was definately a call I looked forward to and miss very much still after eight years. You know the pain has never really gone away, but the anger eventually did. You are such a beautiful spirit inside and out. You are certainly physically ready for a relationship, but when you are ready for it spiritually and mentally it will arrive. Patience is key. God bless my love, you are thought of often. Always, Guy

  4. Penny says:

    I can relate to what you said about wanting to call your dad. I lost my mother in 1998 and I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone to tell her about something that has happened. Sounds like you really have a good handle on your health and eating habits. Keep up the workouts. You are looking great. You continue to be such an inspiration.

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