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It’s been such an amazing summer… I have never been so busy in my life… I can’t tell u the last time I was this happy… my life is very full. I have overcome alot… especially this year… and it’s been such a blessing having you guys, my family and friends in my life… finding Jenny has been a journey… yes it’s been up and yes it’s been down but having the ok’s and the grey’s of the black and whites is the key for me….

Today was my first day of not having to be somewhere by a certain time… I had alot of catching up to do… but I just paced myself… my calls backs for work stuff is quite a task but my personal call backs is by far the longest list I had….I just wanted to spend some time doing what I WANTED to do (today at some point) and it felt great… I got on computer early in the am and just said to myself “I just want to swim like a fish” and play w Dexter…so I did. I ended up doing 75 laps (1 lap=back and fourth once to me).  Then I made calls and off I went. I needed a meeting so I went, then work… coffee and to the gym were I worked out for 2hrs & 45 mins…I stopped and talked w a few familiar faces…one being a dear friend of mine GORDI HOFFMAN… he is so sweet & a brilliant writer and director , we did an abs class together.  Then I hit the steam room. I’ve been doing the steam room for the last week. Yesterday I worked in the am at PRC then went to visit my Mickey. I received an urgent call from someone,so I ended up doing a 12step call for like 5 hrs…till the evening… that drained me. My boy JIM  had a screening of our good friend ASHLEY HAMILTON’s movie that he produced at his house were I stay-so I came home to a house of about 14 people. I stayed up till 3am.  There were some pretty amazing people there like Sydney, Cara, Rome and other industry people whom I mostly know.  It was such a fantastic night w such creative people from actors, writers, producers, musicians and just all people in the the industry…(oh &I was in my work out gear, not so hot but oh so comfortable).  I love JIM so much and ASHLEY is a sweetheart… JIM’s like an angel for me. A friend of his stayed the night and we tortured him- talking poop talk and girl stuff around him … he’s easy to gross out. TUESDAY I worked and I have to say I was so nervous when I got asked to do this job I was like “SURE, NO PROB” then as soon as I got off phone a wk ago I was like “what the F did I just say…”  It was for a BIKINI SHOOT for a MAGAZINE…OMG…. I was stressing over this. I woke up at 6am and made coffee- drank it and boom I threw up like the exorcist from the nerves. I have to say the shoot was magical…SEAN JAMES, CAMERON COHEN, SHAWNA ANKENBRANT AND LEAH ORNSTEIN MADE ME FEEL AND LOOK BEAUTIFUL…. there were a few other people there but that was my core crew. We shot at such a gorgeous house in Bel Air… Sean put extensions in my hair for 3 hrs … the look was Hollywood Starlet Returns and  Homage to Sophia Loren and Rachel Welch….aghhhhh we’ll see how it turns out. The swimming has gotten me so much smaller….people lately stop me and say “oh my you are tiny…”  Makes me want to cry and people who haven’t seen me in a very very long time and friends now both say I’m back to my modeling day’s body. Again I’m in awwwwe and just want to cry … I FIGHT DAILY IN ALL MY AFFAIRS AND THE PAY OFF IS REWARDING… it’s breaking the old ideas of myself and of life . I do believe ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN LIFE…

I’m so tired that I’m going to go to sleep now…


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1 Comment

  1. Guy Hamilla says:

    love the blog, someday you won’t have to fight anyone or anything, you will BE safe and protected. Gordi is a good man! I cannot wait to see the bikini pics. the black and whites are amazing….guy

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