Jun
27.
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I woke up today and took little MICKEY on his morning poop walk…holy jeepers it was a hot day… then I went to the gym.. there was this man that reminded me of JACK LALANNES (he was soo cute) came up to me and started teachimg me how to do free weights properly… ahhh found a blessing there… I try to remain teachable… and I actually learn….woooow ! What a concept … I learned how to do some crazy stuff today … I also learned that when u do new things u get super sore…..ouch…I’ve said this before but since CELEBRITY REHAB WRAPPED I’VE NOW LOST OVER 20LBS… I FEEL GREAT WITH WERE I AM WITH MY WEIGHT ,BODY AND HEALTH….I mean I’m an addict I would love to tighten up lose more etc etc… more more more!!!!!!!! but from 257lbs I’ve come a long way… I remember I said if I could ever get to blah blah blah I would be so happy then 3 wks ago I got there then I said ok ok but if I could get blah blah blah that would be it. Haaaa! I so had to check myself, quickly… I’ve  passed my dream goal from when I was heavy so it’s a MIRACLE and a blessing from here on… oddly since my last relationship ended I’ve been able to drop the last 20 lbs, maybe that weight was still protecting me…maybe just from me or…..life?

I went and got my nails did and toes … went shopping for my mama and then came back to her house where I just couldn’t anymore… I just passed out and slept for 45 minutes and hard….then my little brother came in and we had a premiere party the 4 of us… MY MAMA , BROTHER, LITTLE MICKERS AND ME! I have to say I was filled w anxiety all day …my people pleasing kicked in, would I be liked? etc etc…at the end of the day it’s a show about addiction and bringing awareness to the disease and  it is sooooo REAL…. helping others not about me… but some fb’ed me and said it’s probably about the responsibilities thats the bigger picture and he was right….the responsibilities of a show like this that come with it…the show is edited and there are a lot of things I wish u guys got to see….I’m honored to do what I do but I am passionate about all the things I do… it’s not just recovery based stuff that I do, but that’s alway’s first. The more I put myself out there on shows about recovery the harder I have to work on my recovery and I effing do that ….. I have to…

SEASON PREMIERE OF CELEBRITY REHAB SEASON AIRED TONIGHT! It’s amazing all day STEVEN ADLER AND I have been txting each other … we are all good guys… I was in the bathroom trying to hide the fact I was crying but being mic’d they hear everything… so I was told to come out and gratefully Shelly was still there to walk me thru that… being on a team is such a blessing this season for me….compared to SOBERHOUSE… I learned and grew so much from this experience and the whole cast … I am receiving a lot of support from everyone…BAI LING also has been txting me … she has a powerful story …. MICHAEL LOHAN has called today too, but we talk a lot as do I with JEREMY JACKSON… JEREMY IS THE ONE WHO HELPED ME LOSE MY LAST 20LBS …. he knows his fitness that one…. well he helped a lot  for a bit….I still talk w DWIGHT”DOC”GOODEN ALL THE TIME (love love love him) and little JESSICA”SUGAR”KIPER as well…. I remain close with them …. they are very brave to put there life and isssues out there….

I am doing a fashion show tomorrow at the “ROXY”!!!!! but in the morning, it’s a super early rise and shine  for me… 6am wake up , then I go do my group at PRC then out to L.A for the week…. have gym, an aa meeting ,interviews on phone for CELEB REHAB  until I have to go to “ROXY” for rehearsals and hair and make up then show… apparently I’m opening the show… aghhhhhhhh…I haven’t done a FASHION SHOW IN A BILLION YRS….. I’ve got a busy wk but I am so blessed….. I ask GOD TO SINK MY BOAT W BLESSINGS lately ….I’M READY…. I LOVE U GUYS (even the ones who read my blogs and dont tell me). xoxoxo



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5 Comments

  1. Diana says:

    You were in my prayers when I heard Mr. Adler was back. You look beautiful and healthy and I wish you all the success in the world. Don’t let Jeremy get too crazy on you with the workouts.
    P.S. Shelly is a rock star too! I used to teach her kid, who was incredible too!

  2. Amanda Jane says:

    Sounds like a great Sunday!
    Teachable is where I’m at….
    My sobriety is strong and my body is getting there, very slowly. My mind is aware and grateful for all that is available to me. My family, garden and my Dog, Wookie…they sustain me, along with God’s help!
    Glad to know You!!!

  3. TinTin says:

    You WERE awesome tonight and you LOOKED awesome!!!

  4. Marg says:

    You are a shining light, an example of the power of sobriety on the beam..I watched the show last night for the first time ever, and will continue to watch because you are on it this season. While I was living in Pasadena I worked with the girl newbees @ PRC with one of the counselors. Service is one of the grounding roots to a happy, joyous and free sobriety.. I LOVE YOU CHICKPEA!!!!

  5. DaddyDave says:

    You go girlfriend !!!!!

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