Jan
14.
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OMG my body is in so much pain… every single step i take i am feeling pain… the one thing about asking for help and wanting to change is U WILL GET HELP AND CHANGES START OCCURING…so i decided to open my big mouth and tell DARLENE¬† i wanted the lines under my butt line to go away, so she did just that !!!! the muscles of my legs and booty feel broken! (yes i know they cant break)… i am also going thru caffine (energy drinks,sodas)¬† and salt withdrawls…i am in the “uncomfortable” phase …no let me be straight with you i am agitated , angry, tired and pissed right now…. my body is tired and im moody because its just simply CHANGE… i feel i lost the light in this deep tunnel im in….Darlene said to me today that i just have to allow it to work itself out (pain, soreness,emotions ive held in certain areas in my body) . i had a real hard time looking in the mirror at the gym today … i only saw the fat , ugly, celluite monster i became, not who i am at this right moment… in a clear state of mind i am grateful for the weight because it was my protection shield , it helped my cope…ill tell you i am so lucky to have Darlene because she is one of the best in her field… but more importantly she is giving me one of the biggest gifts ill ever probably recieve, that is her knowledge ,strentgh and hope… up in a few hours to go back to it…

my little mickey has had a few medical problems lately and thankfully is getting better….God i just am so in love with him…

tom and i went to see Andy Dick with Adam Corrolla at the IMPROV tonight…it was a blast…i love my little Andy…

tom has been such a pillar to me… yes we go thru it but thats just it we go THRU IT… we have been laughing alot lately…well he laughs at me too, the drama me that is…ill tell u im a hand full so it definately takes a certain type of person to want to be in it… tomorrow is a full long day for me so sweet sweet dreams xoxo



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1 Comment

  1. traveling fool says:

    I’m sorry you’re in pain, but it sounds like it would be worth it in the end. I love you and I know you can do it!

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